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"Gettin' Beebed" was originally released on April 12, 2010, at 1:26 AM.
Here it is, the podcast you've been waiting for: My Brother, My Brother, and Me. It's an advice show, brought to you for FREE by three of the world's most qualified experts who are also brothers. If you'd like to participate, tweet with the #MBMBAM hashtag of email us at mbmbam aat gmail dawt com.
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Justin: And welcome, welcome to our show, the show is called My Brother, Brother, and Me. I'm Justin McElroy. I'm joined by my titular brothers ([laughter]) Trav-- Great. Good start everybody. Travis and Griffin. This is an advice show for the modern era. Mainly fashion. We take your questions every day, every-- Well, not every day. Every week, and we will-- Griffin : Every second, real time. Justin: Every sec-- Griffin : This is why it’s a "modren" show, every, every-- Justin: Just call. Griffin : Now. Now. Justin: Yeah, now. Now. Now? Now. Travis: Has anyone called yet? I haven't gotten, oh. Justin : No. If you want to reach us, you can always ask a question on Twitter. You can use the hashtag MBMBAM, or you can email us. It's MBMBAM@gmail.com. That, of course, stands for My Brother, My Brother, and Me. Our original...our original title was deemed too long. Griffin : I actually have a list of some of the titles as we were spitballing. Justin : Yeah. Griffin : We'll go ahead and say yours ‘cause I know what you're going to-- Justin : The best I-- My personal favorite, it wasn't mine. I'm pretty sure you came up with it. Griffin : It was absolutely mine. Justin : Keenan and Kel and Justin and Travis and Griffin.Which is a better name than My Brother, My Brother, and Me Griffin : Yeah. Justin: But-- Griffin : And can you imagine after our first 350 episodes when we finally had the... Travis: Keenan and Kel on there Griffin: ...the draw to get the KKs Travis : I would worry about the Keenan and Kel run off, where people want to listen for Keenan and Kel and they're not there at first. Justin: Oh right, right. Yeah. And you don't want to lose that demographic of Keenan and Kel. Griffin : I also don't want to lose all of my orange soda 'cause Kel would drink it right up. Travis : You know who loves orange soda? Griffin : I've heard that Kel enjoys the occasional-- Travis: He looooves orange soda. Justin: From time to time. Guys, I don't actually-- You'll have to forgive me, I-- Does drinking orange soda have racial connotations that maybe fans of Keenan and Kel-- Griffin : On no, I didn't even think about that. Justin: Does it? Griffin : Guys, guys, listen, listen, I'm not racist, Keenan and Kel... Justin: Loves orange soda! Griffin : Totally loves orange soda. That is a frequent subject on that show. Justin: Yeah, this is a topic-- Travis: Listen, I can verify, he does, he does, he dooooooes. Justin : YouTube it, just tube it. Griffin : Side note, let's go ahead and derail this train of thought a bit further Justin : Oh, good, good Griffin : Uh Kel, I think was in a movie that I saw at the Blockbuster Video called "Who Made the Potato Salad?" That was the last-- That was in 1998. And when I saw that video cassette on the store shelf and that was the last time I ever saw Kel Mitchell. Travis : He went into his novel writing career. Griffin : I don't actually think-- Justin: You know what's weird about that? By sheer serendipity, our first question this week on My Brother, My Brother, and Me comes to us from the potato, the underscore potato on Twitter. He asks...
Question #1 (00:03:12) EditI want a larger follower count, but I'm finding it difficult to get more than two in a day. What can I do? by-- _potato on Twitter
Griffin : Start a bunch of accounts and have them follow each other. Justin: Yeah, we're talking about a question of determination, right? Griffin : You could open a business where you have 1,000 accounts, right? I don't think there's any limitation of that, right? Justin : Yeah. Griffin : It's not like Facebook you can just, you can just, you know, shit and five Twitter accounts fall out. You can have this network and you can say, "I will give you 1,000 followers in a day, you just pay me 50 bucks." You're spending all day clicking the follow button, but still 50 bucks… Travis : You know what I'm willing to bet? Someone is doing that somewhere. Justin : Yeah Travis : I have to believe that you're not the first person to think of it Griffin : Tell me who they are and I'll show up 50 bucks for 1,000 followers. Travis : Oh I know, I would. Justin : The question is really one of quality, right? Like, if I see a funny tweet, usually I'm going to click on that name. I'm going to say, "What is your...what are you offering? What's your story?" Griffin : Right. Justin : And I will look at them, I will read their words, I will open up their mind and see what's inside. And if i'm climbing around in there, and I like what I see, I like the territory I'm gonna stake my claim. Press that little follow. Travis: Can I just say you're getting two new followers a day. Justin : Not bad. Travis: That ain't bad. Griffin : Yeah that's pretty good. Because pretty soon, exponentially, they're going to start retweeting the funny shit you say, and then it's going to be three followers a day, and then four followers a day, and then, hold on, I---, let me remember my, let me remember Travis : 62 Griffin: I have to pull up my Fibonacci sequence, but I think it's 62. Justin: Yeah 62, and then from there, you just start tweeting about products you're using, sponsored tweets. Griffin : And then boom? Justin: Probably the danger zone, you're rich. Travis: Then you're famous. Justin: Yup. Travis : That's how it works. Travis: Then you're famous. Justin: Yup. That's how it works. So.. Travis : So, you're funny. Griffin : So you get Beebed. Justin : Yeah, that's how Beiber did it. Beiber started his career standing in the middle of the malls, just singing at the top of his lungs. Then two people came up and they were like,"What are you doing?" And he's like, "Exactly." Griffin : He wasn't even singing at first. He was just like, "Just ate a sandwich at Subway. It was real good." And then, but he had to say it in less than 140 letters. Justin: Yeah, that's how--- Griffin : Now he's on Saturday Night Live. Travis : I just want to say I don't know who Justin Beiber is. Justin : What? Travis : I know of his existence. Griffin : So talented. Travis : I have no context--- Justin : You realize that's sort of like, that like, postmodern detachment from popular culture. That's not cool anymore. Like it was cool back in the early 2000s, but it's hot to know what's--- Travis : (06:01 Unclear) he has a funny name. Griffin : No, no, no, no. He really is like this is me being completely un-ironic. You guys remember how I got on that Twilight kick? Travis : Yes. Griffin : And you guys knew that it wasn't, I was being ironic. This is me in my most sincere: Justin Beiber's super talented. Watched him on Saturday Night Live last night... Justin : Oh, he knew what was up Griffin: Heeee Justin : He knew how to work a Travis : Isn't he like eight? Griffin : He's like eight Justin : He's 13. Griffin : He stayed up past his bedtime to rock us all to sleep. Justin: Yeah to rock you to sleep. Ironic because I heard by 12 he was getting super cranky. ([Laughs]) He was like, "I don't wanna go down, I gotta poop poop. Travis : Well, I believe that answers your question, who is Justin Bieber. Justin : Yeah, who is--- Someone had to have asked for rights. Griffin : Speaking of questions, this one comes from Yahoo. The question is:
Yahoo #1 (00:06:48) EditY From Yahoo Answers user Resuin
What is the chord progression during the intro of the ABC series' ‘Greek’?
Justin: What!? Griffin : Comes to us from Yahoo Answers user resuin Travis : Was it all in caps? He had to know right this second. Griffin : Dude you know what? Like it's all actually, except for he capitalized chord progression and intro, which no. But he did put Greek in like single apostrophes. Justin : What? Griffin : Which should--- Yeah, I know. Like it kind of followed AP style. Justin : So, resowin was--- Griffin : More importantly, WHAT THE FUCK MAN? Justin : That's what you care about!? Griffin : Whaaat? Justin : What?? Travis : WHAT? Justin : Do you think that, uh, do you think resowin is his Christian name? You think was a manager of Arby's was like, "Resowin! Make all these fries!" Griffin: I think--- Travis : "Resowin! Why don't you have a girlfriend?" Griffin : More puzzling than his moniker. Iiiiiiiis why he's trying to plan the progression during the intro of the ABC series Greek. Sorry, let me finish the question. Justin : Okay Griffin : "What is the chord progression, or is it from a song? I'm not talking about the Plain White T's song. I'm talking about the short five second chord progression that plays during the intro to Greek in the current season. Well, they're currently in season five." Justin: So, so not to be confused with the progression--- Griffin : So-- Don't get it, don't get this shit twisted because the first four seasons opened up with Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. Now it's just uh, like a generic sort of four chord. You'd know it if you heard it. Justin : Yeah, of course it goes bar bar bar bee! Right? That one? Griffin: Play it by ear Justin : Right Travis: I love that that is a concern. Like that he watched the show and all he came away with was, "What were those notes!?" Justin : What were those notes!? Griffin : I'll get that occa-, I will get that an occasionally like from a television show. Like I'm sure that there have been, like um, like uhhh Tail Spin. Justin : Sure Travis : Ha! Griffin : Like I'll want to learn the intro to Tail Spin on guitar, and then I will go and I will make that dream a reality. Justin : We're not talking though, we're not talking about... Griffin : We're not talking about a timeless children's cartoon classic! Justin : A song where you play it at a party and get the whole party rocking. We're talking about five notes where someone is like, "What is that? Was that a song?" "Oh, you know, the beginning of Greek." Just taking it all. Travis : The beep boop bop boo beep song Justin : Yeah, you know, from Greek! Griffin : Oh shit. Wait a minute! Justin : Wait a minute! Not only would I not recognize that upon hearing it. NO ONE WATCHES GREEK! No one's ever seen it! Griffin : No, no. Travis : That's the heart of the mountain. Griffin : Listen, I got it. I just got confused. He said ABC series Greek. It's ABC Family series. Justin : Oh, riiiight. Griffin : I have seen that show! Travis : Yeah no, those five notes rule, they are epic! Tears, tears. Griffin : I own the whole collection, the whole Greek, they call it the Frat House box set duplexed. Travis : It comes in a keg, which is nice. Griffin : Comes in uh two kegs, 'cause there's a lot of discs. Justin : And as soon as you open it, go to open it, it melts it down. ([Laughs]) As well it should be. Great. Travis : Ahh. Justin : It's a fine question, and I don't have an answer for you. Griffin : Go play their music. Go learn how to play. There's so many good songs. Justin: Spambot wants to know...
Question # 2 (00:09:57) EditHow do I get my incredibly talented artist friends to draw more?--by Spambot
Travis : Um. Griffin : I don't think if your "incredibly talented" artist friends, if they don't draw that frequently then they're either not incredibly talented or they're not artists at all. Travis: Or they're not your friends. Griffin : Well, no, I wouldn't go that far. Maybe they're doing all of this secret drawing and they're just keeping it. Travis : Yeah, that's for their real friends. Griffin : Oh shit, here comes Spambot! Put the pencils down! Put down the pencils! He's coming! Justin : I don't want him to see 'cause every time he's like, "You...," t-t-that's a 20 minute conversation. He sees them working and it's, "Oh I'm so glad to see you're doing that. Travis : Aw keep it up! Keep. It. Up! Justin : Looks great. Griffin : Whatever happened? You did two years as RISDI and then you just stopped! What happened to your life!?" Travis : Now you're doing sculpting! Go back to drawing. My advice is this: Most likely, um, they know better than you know, uh, how good they actually are. Justin: Their advance knowledge of the field. Travis : Yeah so you're looking at it going, "Oh my God!" But they've just been sketching Marvin the Martian. ([Laughter]) And they know that--- Justin : And they get funny and ironic. But really like, they know. It's Marvin the Martian. Travis : Listen, I just drew this dog and upside down heart, and he's a happy dog. And you're like, "Oh my God!" And you're crying and moved. Um, let them not draw that anymore. Justin : It's probably a good idea. Griffin : Uh, here's another one from the Yahoo contingency. This one's from Caitlyn W. Justin : These are not our fans by the way. Travis : Wait to jump back real quick... Justin : MBMBAM Travis : If you actually want them to draw more? Encourage them--- Justin : Wait, really, you're just gonna--- Griffin : No, no. Niet, niet, niet, niet. Justin : We're done with here, we're done here. Griffin : Here we go. This one, headline:
Yahoo # 2 (00:11:41) EditY From Yahoo Answers user Caitlyn W.
I went on a first date with this guy; I didn’t know what to say to him? So a guy I knew went on a date with me today. I was really excited beforehand and I couldn’t wait to see him. I really like him a lot, no words can describe it. So anyways, we went to a movie and then when it was over we walked around. But I didn’t have much to say, neither did him. It felt sort of awkward. I did want to say something, I just don’t know what. So I hope to God that there’s going to be another date with him soon.
Travis: You know who I like? That quiet girl! Griffin : She goes on to ask for topics, like to talk about. What shocked me was, yeah we had this super awkward date, didn't have anything to talk about. Just three hours spent in the most horrifying silence imaginable. SO GRRCK! CAN'T WAIT FOR DATE TWO! Justin : Date two! Bring it back! He said he'd take me to Coldstone! Woooooo! Griffin : At least at Coldstone you have, "Uh, so what did you, uh, what did you go with? Cake batter and graham crackers. That's, uh..." Travis : Are there gummy bears IN there? Justin : Yeah, It's not a big deal. Griffin : Do you have a funny story about graham crackers? I don't either. Travis : Can't wait to see you on date three! Griffin : What time is it? It's only 7:21? Oh my God. Travis : Isn't your mom picking us up? Justin : You know the real awkward moment that had to be like, (whispers) click, click. Hey, hey what are you, what are you writing on your phone? I just, I was just, I was just asking Yahoo, uh...the date was going, I thought it was going pretty good. Well... Griffin : Oh my GOD! I didn't read the answers!!! There were answer. Uhhhhh, I already found my favorite. Here's, here's... Justin : Okay, just hit me with the favorite Griffin : This one isn't my favorite, I'm going to save the favorites, get some suspense. Here's not my favorite: Oooooo, he probably thinks you're not interested in him now. Text him now and say I really enjoyed a date with a smiley face. Justin : This is so important, the smiley face. Travis : Yeah, you don't want to make it seem ironic. Griffin : One person says-- Danny says, "Well, for my first dates I usually go on a double date." Well, that makes, that, you know, I've pulled that game. I've played that game before. Here's my favorite: IT'S FROM JACK DANIELS!! One of the few people on Yahoo Questions with an avatar and a tim--- Justin : Ironically if you're Jack Daniels, you never have to worry about what to say next. It's just there. Griffin : It's an avatar of him, and he's wearing a backwards baseball hat. He's got headphones on, and he's winking. Right. Justin : Wait, this is Jack Daniels, with like the old-- Griffin : Jack Daniels avatar Justin : Sepia tone goatee? Griffin : No, no. It's like one of those fucking zwinky (laughs) cartoon yourself! Travis: Ohhhh, yeah. Griffin : Here's the answer, ya ready? Shhh, shhh, no laughing, seriously. This was answered 23 minutes ago, too, so this is hot off the oven. Shhh shhh, shh shhh. Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh Justin : Can't! I can't do this! Griffin : Shhh shhh shhh! Justin : Okay Travis : I can't... Justin : Okay, okay. Griffin : Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh. Sometimes the quietest moments can say the most about yourself. Travis: And those footprints in the sand, but it was the ones that--- Griffin: I'm literally creating a Yahoo Answers profile right now so that I can give his comment a thumbs up. Make it the highest rated answer of all time. Travis: I would like to picture him really super drunk when he wrote that to like this is a quiet moment--. Justin: Hey Jack Daniels, can you take your headphones off and talk. Talk girl, nah. Listen, straight up Griffin : Straight up Justin : The quietest moments, girl, I just told this one bitch on Yahoo Answers what's up! I just told her that the quietest, the quietest answers, you know? What's up? Griffin : What's great, it's all, all-- Travis : And to be fair... Griffin : --his answer's all lower case, too, so [whispering]. Travis: And you know what, he's right, because those quiet moments told her date, this is a terrible date. Griffin : This is awful! Justin : You did in affect communicate more than you probably could have. Travis: Guess what? [whispers] I'm boring! Griffin : [Whispers] This is what it would be like forever if we got married. Forever. Justin : Can you imagine our children sitting in silence and staring at us, and wondering, "Why Mommy and Daddy don't talk?" [whispers] Think of it...it's a world away! But it's really just a second date away. Call me! Travis : No don't! Justin : Text me! And then I won't answer, and it will be like I'm there! Travis : Call me and I'll breath into the phone for a while. Justin: Susanne, uh, I believe it's "iles," but it could be two l's at the end. She's actually from County Quark according to her Twitter, Twitter profile.
Question # 3 (00:16:20) Edit
I really need advice on how to add, oh, about 10 hours to my day. Can you help?- Susanne Iles
19:21 - Ryan Gann is afraid of bees, wasps, and hornets. When he wears red shirts in the spring they seem to go near me. What do I do?
23:45 - How many times a week should I shampoo my hair? I’m currently on a wash thrice shampoo every third wash cycle.
29:23 - Dear MBMBAM I’m looking for love, not the sicko type, but if I find that I’m not opposed; any ideas?
33:43 - Y -
What is the first song that comes to mind when I say the word “party”?
37:20 - FY -
Can birds get allergies?
- Allegedly, Travis thought this episode was just a practice run, and was unaware it would be the actual first episode.