"Holding a Stranger's Hand" was originally released on April 19, 2010 at 12:10 PM.

Description Edit

It’s Monday and that means it’s time to have literally every question you’ve ever had about life, love and laughter courtesy of the McElroy brothers. But honestly, why are you even reading this? Why don’t you just head over to our OFFICIAL Web Presence at Also, did you subscribe? You should subscribe.

Suggested Talking Points Edit

is “totes” acceptable? Are you trying to hold my hand?


Justin: And welcome, we're back again to the show. It's called My Brother, My Brother, and Me. I am of course Justin McElroy.
Travis: I'm Travis McElroy.
Griffin: I'm Griffin McElroy.
Justin: Yeah, we all do our last name, it seems unnecessary. Oh well.
Travis: That is weird.
Griffin: It's so people know that we're actual real-life brothers.
Justin: Not those imitation brothers. Like those McKenzie brothers. Ugh...
Griffin: Those Jonas brothers--
Travis: Jonas, I know right?
Justin: Well they're real brothers.
Travis: They're just not real people.
Griffin: One of them-- One of them I'm pretty sure is adopted meaning (laughs) that's not a real brother.
Travis: No! Ew, gross!
Griffin: If you think about it--
Justin: I'm pretty sure one of them is a doctor. Which is weird.
Travis: Yeah, it's the same one actually.
Justin: It's the same one. They adopted a doctor.
Travis: Yeah, they adopted a doctor, is what they did.
Justin: Thank you so much for all the support, everybody.
Griffin: Thank you so much.
Justin: Uh, got kinda like a-- probably like a hundred thousand downloads last-- last episode.The plan is to just-- if we just like double our audience every time if-- what I'm saying is, here's my rule: If the number of downloads ever slips from one show to another, we just stop.
Travis: We stop--
Justin: We stop now, you know where the party's stoppin'. That's where the partys stop or out.
Travis: So... I like that. I like that.
Justin: So, that's a good-- that's a good reason for you at home, tell your friends if you've always been a fan of my and Griffin's, but you didn't know how to get 'em on-board 'cause we only talk about video games, now we talk about everything. Get your SO in the room.
Travis: What if they've been-- what if they've always been a fan of me?
Griffin: If you went to PetSmart and Travis gave you some really kind and courteous service...
Justin: He's not just talking about dogs.
Griffin: ...and slipped you some coupons underneath the reg, then, you know-- Now, you can listen to him talk about it.
Justin: This is the show to listen to with a loved one. Get a little-- get your SO, get your boyfriend or girlfriend, and send 'em-- just like-- or your hermaphrodite friend? Is that like more inclusive? Um--
Griffin: Yeah--
Travis: Get your person.
Justin: Get your person. Your s-- Your special somebody. And listen to the show with 'em. Say "Hey, I wanna listen to this show with you. I would l-- I would prefer if you would download it also on a separate device." So our numbers increase, like that's reflected.
Travis: And then we'll listen to it together, but like on different systems.
Justin: Just separately.
Griffin: And if you wanna review it on Itunes, that's also so cool, like some of those reviews were great. Like some dude said that he listened to it and cured all of his diseases.
Justin: Yeah, and we got--
Travis: And if you've been looking for a reason to buy an MP3 player for your pillow with a person on it, this is the tiiime.
Griffin: This is it.
Justin: This is the moment. And we got so much at
Griffin: Oh, Justin Russo, can we talk about how great that guy is?
Justin: Yeah, that guy's blowin' it-- Justin Russo's got new art all through if you go to, which I... I've been thinking of a word to try to pronounce that easier. It's obviously doesn't have--
Travis: "Mub-bub-bam".
Justin: "Mub-bub-bam" doesn't sound cool, I was thinking about "muh--"
Griffin: Mub, mub
Justin: I was thinking about--
Griffin: Mub-bim-bam
Justin: I was thinking about "mamba".
Travis: (laughs) I keep saying-- In my head, I keep saying "mumble bam".
Justin: "Mumble bam?" (laughs) I want people to have a nickname for it. Like "mamba." The "mamba".
Griffin: Mub-bi-- Mub-bim-bam is the--
Justin: "Mub-bim-bam" is terrible, what about-- let me hit you with this one-- what about the "mamba"? Yeah, see now--
Griffin: Plain old "mamba"--
Travis: How 'bout "my"-- How 'bout "my BM bam"?
Justin: No? No. So go to mamba-- Uh, our Twitter feed, which I-- you know what, just go to, we got all the links there. Our Twitter, tweety pages and all. Actually, there's not a-- We don't have a link to the-- to the Twitter in the website. That'll be up. That'll be up by the time you hear this.
Travis: Nobody even uses Twitter.
Griffin: Fix it.
Justin: Fix it! Fix it! You-- You do it, don't tell me! Fix it.
Griffin: I'm saying we'll fix it.
Travis: Together.
Justin: This whole show is falling apart. First question!
04:20 - I’m a geek who plays video games all day. I have few friends but unluckily they’re geeks too. I'm starting university soon and wondered if you have any tips on curing my social anxiety and getting comfortable talking to people I’ve not met before.
Justin: This is something I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. I don't know how you guys feel about it.
Griffin: Yeah, me--
Travis: Uh, I'm all set, I'm pretty good about it.
Justin: Yeah? I can-- so, hit us with advice, Travis.
Travis: Um, the best advice is what I do: Um, what for a conversation to form and then just listen until there's something that you actually add to the conversation. Don't jump in, don't be like "Hey, nice shoes!" If that works for you, great. But I usually just go, "You know I saw that too!" And then I join the conversation.
Griffin: People really-- People really love it when you eavesdrop.
Justin: Just keep-- basically advice is eavesdrop and forget it.
Travis: Really just creepy your way in.
Justin: Just cre--
Travis: That always works.
Justin: Backdoor right in. Um, did Tra-- remember that you can't really get-- we talked about this last week, it-- it's important. Ask people questions about themselves, you can always win friends by getting people to talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. It's their favorite topic. If you ask people about themselves, that's the best way to start conversations. "I like your shoes, where did you purchase them?"
Travis: The mistake I made going into college was being too aggressive, um, in my friendliness by like, introducing myself to everyone like "Hey! How's it goin', I'm Travis!" And people were like "I am fucking sick of that dude."
Justin: Yeah--
Travis: "What is that dude doing?"
Justin: Yeah, imagine being related to him.
Travis: Yeah, it's awful. The worst.
Griffin: You could just, you know, keep hanging out with geeks.
Justin: Just keep-- hey, there're enough geeks in the world. That's all I know are geeks, dude.
Griffin: Yeah, but-- My best friends are all pretty, pretty geek--
Justin: Yeah, and also, here's another one. Make yourself more physically attractive. I don't know-- (laughs) Seriously--
Travis: That'd really help--
Justin: Like the upper, the upper stratters of-- (laughs) Stratters...
Griffin: What?
Justin: The upper strata of society, that's how you do it, man. Just be more physically attractive.
Travis: And also have more money. Maybe that's possible. Drive a better car.
Griffin: Be famous.
Justin: Yeah, yeah that really helps.

06:37 - Assume I’m an awesome pretty girl. I like a shy guy and had three dates. First three dates were all in dates and HH. We had a tournament of bar games kind a thing going. The fourth date was a driving range, his idea. How do I get him to transition to a nice dinner?

09:27 - What’s the biggest mistake women make in relationships. What about dudes?

11:29 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user BIlly bob, who asks:

Why did my gf who said she loved me cheat on me rite in fornt of me and not care?

i mean i was rite thers she madeout with him and then put her hands in his pants. what do i do?

13:30 - He goes to a lot of meetings with father-in-law at work. When and how should I let people we are meeting with know we are related?

16:00 - My wife refuses to watch The Room. 1) What the fuck is wrong with her? 2) How can I get her to watch it?

18:30 - How can I get my girlfriend to move to Vancouver?

19:55 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user Mike, who asks:

How long does it take to get THC out of your system if you only smoke on the weekends?

Basically I'm applying for a summer job this weekend, and if i am successful they require a Pre employment drug test.. My question is how long will it take before i can pass the test if i am an occasional smoker who on average smokes 2-3 times on the weekends, and very rarely during the week.

21:57 - I haven’t been able to fly for about four years now due to a bad flight through a thunderstorm. It increased in anxiety over flying resulting panic attacks before trips even walking off of a plane because my anxiety got so bad. I know flying is the safest way to travel and I know I’m missing out on things by not flying. Any advice that can help me overcome this irrational fear?

25:28 - So While I was working a crappy job at an upscale breakfast restaurant I fell in crush with a girl. The problem was she would always say “totes” (in place of totally). I started doing it in a way of ironically ridiculing her and trying to force herself to view her own unacceptable behavior. The problem arose thereafter when I kept saying it all the time and now all of my friends say it too. My question is: Should I be proud that my friends view me as the social god which all others must be judged against and for that reason they emulate my dialect or should I feel guilty for making everybody a little bit stupider? P.S. I’ve totally been on a low-fat yogurt and granola trend lately. What are the McElroys snacking on?

29:36 - As brothers have you ever lied to your parents as a group in one lie extravaganza. What do you feel the best way to lie to parents? Lying back story?

30:27 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user Sir Sketchy, who asks:

My girlfriend threw my dog off my balcony when I broke up with her Im not sure what to do?

Im so confused should I call the police?

33:09 - I started taking the bus to work recently. I have about 35 minutes a day twice a day more to sit around and or stand than I used to. Aside from listening to fine podcasts of future McElroy’s how do you suggest I spend this extra time?

35:45 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user One-Eyed Willy, who asks:

Can toenails be swallowed?

My wife told me she’s leaving me because of my bad habits. I nearly choked on my own toenail.

Is it ok to eat toenails?

37:40 - Housekeeping

38:42 - FY - From Yahoo Answers user I'm A Pokémon, who asks:

Is it okay to bring jelly beans on a plane?

Quotes Edit

Trivia Edit

In the 30:27 mark with the Yahoo question, Griffin says to "call the police and move as far as you possibly can". One can argue that this may be an early version of "pack your bags and move away" goof. We also learn about one of Travis' past jobs, PetSmart, first on this podcast.

Deep Cuts Edit

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