"My Walnut is a Temple" was originally released on April 26, 2010 at 11:47 AM.
Wowza. Put the kids to bed, folks – this particular installment in the MBMBAM archives gets down and dirty with a bit of discussion pertaining to various … bedroom activities. No, we’re not talking about your toenail clipping ritual. No, we’re not taking about your nightly Craig Ferguson viewing. No, we’re not – intercourse! We’re dishing out some real talk about intercourse, and in a completely non-creepy way. For the most part. Except for that one part. You’ll know when you hear it.
Suggested Talking Points Edit
Moving away from your home town. Secret movie theatre back rubs. Living with real-life ladies. Making sweet love to a rollercoaster. Denim: Friend or Faux Pas? Don’t forget to stop by our swingin’ internet bachelor pad at MBMBAM.com. Also, did you subscribe? You should subscribe.
00:52 - I’m in love with my long distance girlfriend and I want to marry her; should I quit my job and move to Oregon to be with her?
03:43 - So a few friends and I will soon be knee deep in the excitement and thrills of post adolescent co-habitation. This will be our first time living with people we aren’t related to outside of an on campus housing arrangement. While we all have some pretty awesome social anxiety, we seen to be able to tolerate each other. I’m slightly worried however because one of them is a female. How should I prepare for this? Are there ground rules I should be aware of? Any advice would be much appreciated.
05:39 - My girlfriend of over a year gets angry about having Maxim magazines in the bathroom. Sure it’s great to look at side boobs while you’re pooping but I just think they’re well written clever articles. Maxim is the McElroy brothers of magazines except better looking and less offensive, at least in my view. Is she wrong to be a dickhead when it comes to my magazines or should I remain faithful to my promise to take my magazines to work?
07:58 - My wife tells me that you can wear blue shirts with blue jeans but it doesn’t feel right. Help me brothers.
09:05 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user [something has gone wrong], who asks:
is masturbation create problem?
is masturbation create problem in future life (in married life) is the semen is make daily what we eat or not because after masturbation feel very weakness and is it create problem should i do or not in furture is it also decrease sex power.11:32 - Travis reads Cosmo - “A guy’s prostate, the walnut sized gland under his bladder, is the ultimate magic button to push if you want to blow his mind in bed. Partway through oral sex or intercourse rest two fingers against the swath of skin between his testicles and anus.” *My walnut is a temple*
13:50 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user Donald, who asks:
I’m in LOVE with Krista from Fern Gully. Are there any websites devoted to her?
15:45 - My friend needs to leave his dead end low paying job and get out of his lame living situation. He likes the idea of university in my city and would excel in it but he refuses to leave home for another city because “all of his family is here”. He is 22. How do I convince him to sack up, move out, and get his education?
20:02 - When I go to the movies how the hell am I supposed to know what arm rest is mine? There is only one each side.
21:51 - I feel like I’m slipping away from all of my friends. We used to have a big thing in common which got us all hanging out together but now that’s gone and I hardly see them anymore. MBMBAM, how can I save my friendships?
24:08 - A Skype user named date wives just asked to be added to my contacts list offering me sex with married women. -- Griffin
24:39 - My wife is a very tidy person and is always putting my stuff away. Unfortunately, I’m not a slob and I keep my possessions well organized so mostly this in tells her rearranging my things in a manner that makes it impossible to find. For instance today I spent well over an hour searching for printer paper that was previously neatly stacked on top of a shelf in my home office near the printer but had been put away in closet in our guest room.
26:55 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user no name 2, who asks:
Is it strange to be attracted to cheese?
29:51 - Sometimes when I’m at a party with my friends we play Rock Band and we all take turns singing. I get really psyched for when my turn comes because I have super bitchin pipes and when I sing ‘Simple Man’ by Lynyrd Skynyrd it brings the house down without fail. However sometime between when I grab the microphone and the song section menu a changes come over me and I end up picking ‘Crush Crush Crush’ by Paramore; granted every healthy virile man within a quarter mile is at half mast by the time the song is over. But it is still concerning. What does this say about me and is my concern warranted?
32:03 - I’m on a Flogging Molly kick at the moment. I’ve taught myself some of the songs on the geek box and am trying to decide how best to sing with them For those unfamiliar with the band the lead singer has an Irish accent, the problem is I do not. When I sing them in American a lot is lost but I’ve tried it in an Irish accent and am afraid I’m making a fool of myself.
33:58 - Y - From Yahoo Answers user Nikolai, who asks:
Can I name my baby girl justin (after justin bieber)?
[The rest of the question is unread]
36:45 - Housekeeping
39:22 - FY - From Yahoo Answers user C4TF00D, who asks:
I need love potion ingredients, help please?
On Prostate Stimulation Edit
- “Cosmo, my walnut is a temple, and it doesn't need any insurrectionists. Nuh uh.”
- — Griffin
We see the origin of the "Unless..." bit. Griffin says it at 1:15-16.