"The Garfield Monstrosity" was originally released on June 11, 2012.
What dark forces could have possibly conspired to bring you this episode of MBMBaM? Jetlag likely played an important role, but some of the content is so heinous, Chtulhu's intervention seems like the only likely cause.
Suggested Talking PointsEdit
Moleman Sword, Whimsical Road Trip, Japanese Dale Earnhardt's Ghost, In the Cloud, Pam-Body/Garf-Head, Public Gaming, Rough Stuff
06:16 - I'm going to be driving across the country at the end of June, and I'm wondering if you have any advice for doing a cross country road trip? Mostly I'm wondering how to avoid going insane while driving by myself for twelve hours at a time five days in a row. -- West Coast To Best Coast
15:37 - Y - Sent in by Ethan Booker, from Yahoo Answers user Jamal, who asks:
What was the goal of Al Qaeda in their assassination of Dale Earnhardt?
In February 2001, members of Al Qaeda tested their infiltration skills on American soil by sabotaging the racecar of Dale Earnhadt Sr., which ultimately resulted in his death. Several reliable sources indicate that this was an attempt to destroy the country's morale in during the months before the planned 9/11 attacks, however it's common knowledge that most US citizens do not watch NASCAR. If so, what was Al Qaeda's motivation for killing Dale Earnhardt?
24:00 - Sponsored by the Independent Film Channel (not a Money Zone segment)
24:28 - Hey, I need help overcoming my absent-mindedness. Ever since I was a kid I've been prone to misplacing things, forgetting appointments, and suddenly realizing I have no idea what I came in the room looking for. Generally I'm very good-natured about it, but now that I'm a young professional with bills and deadlines I spend more and more time worried that I'm forgetting something important. What can I do to improve my memory and maintain some peace of mind? -- Leonard Shelby
35:06 - MZ - Personal message from Israel Johnson. Sponsored by Red Sky Phenomenon. Sponsored by Bing. Sponsored by Asymmetric.
40:12 - Money Zone jingle
42:30 - Y - Sent in by Josh Papow, from a deleted Yahoo Answers user, who asks:
Really freaked out my girlfriend need help?
As a teenager I suffered from severe depression and formed a strong bond with the character Garfield and his outlook. Its sad but reading garfield anthologies obsessively was the only thing that made me feel normal and it eventually took on something of an erotic fixation.
To avoid feeling like a sicko I drew pictures of garfield with a womans(Think Pamela anderson circa 1991) body and garfields head, so that I was assured that my fixation wasn't with animals or repressed homosexuality. This garfield/pam hybrid still had the same biting wit and acerbic outlook and tended to cut herself in self loathing while wolfing down a lasagna to fill the void after sleeping with drawings of a much more handsome and muscular version of myself. These drawings eventually evolved into erotic fanfiction starring garfield and myself (In my head Garfield still has a womans body but someone reading the stories would think Im having sex with regular Garfield.) I killed off Jon in a jealous rage, I didn't touch Odie, I enjoy his companionship and don't mind if he watches.
The stories are your pretty basic wish fulfillment stuff, balanced with self loathing rants. I've been doing this near daily for years and I have a substantial amount of writing in a folder I keep buried in 8 different folders.
My girlfriend stumbled across them by accident when they came up in a search and is pretty freaked out. How can I show her I'm just a normal guy with a weird outlet for my psychological problems and not some kind of sicko?
56:20 - Hey, I am 24 and I am trying to get my sexy so right, but I'm afraid there is one thing that's holding me back: video games. I love 'em! Play them all the time! Talk about them all time, and most people my age seem to enjoy them as well, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that they are kid stuff, and that people think of me as man-child when I play my Game Boy at Starbucks. I really don't want to stop playing, but is it time to put down childish things and start reading a newspaper? -- Digitally Distraught In Davis
63:29 - Y - Sent in by ?, from Yahoo Answers user ~Xx:Snails:xX~, who asks:
Is it possibly a cat likes aggressive petting?
I know that sounds very weird and you may have had weird thoughts, but in all seriousness... my siamese cat is strange. I can pet him gently or tickle him, or rub his head, ears, chin, etc and he just chills like it doesn't matter. If I pet him aggressively, put pressure on him, pull at him when I pet him, he'll start to purr like he's the happiest cat in the world. He'll start fights with me, bite me, claw me, and then flop over and love on me and start purring like I'm the best cat mom ever. Is it possible for a cat to like tough love? This little guy is evil haha!
68:19 - Housekeeping
71:44 - FY - Sent in by Eddie Rogers, from Yahoo Answers user My Name Is Binky, who asks:
Will Barack Obama pay for my cat food?