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"iJolene" was originally released on December 10, 2012.

Description Edit

We've got one week until Candlenights, an episode known for its cleanliness and familial accessibility. You know what that means? This week, we're exclusively talkin' 'bout dicks.

Suggested Talking Points Edit

The Garden, Blastercard, Casper The Super Conservative Ghost, Life Apps, Sreven, Shower Karate, Romancing the Parents, Santa Barn Farce

Outline Edit

03:36 - Last week I worked a really long 24-hour shift at my retail job. My boss, seeing my dedication, decided to buy me lunch. He handed me his credit card and sent me on my way. I ended up spending seventeen dollars on an amazing burger and fries. Now mind you, this is NYC and it is a higher-end burger spot. My question is: how much is an appropriate amount to spend when your boss offers to buy you lunch. Did I spend too much? I don't want my boss to think I took advantage of his kind offer. -- Stuffed In NYC

10:05 - Y - Sent in by Emily Wall, from Yahoo Answers user Tom, who asks:

Do ghosts appresheate it if you leave them a little snack on the countertop NOT?

like helth food or vegtables or anything, but u know like a tasty snack like oreos or leftover desert. If you do this would they acshully eat it and if they did then coodnt u show ur proof to sientists that they are real wildlife???

16:21 - My boyfriend recently purchased an iPad. We love the convenient technology of being able to look at internet memes whenever we like, but lately he has been browsing on the pad until the wee hours of the night right next to me in bed. I miss the end of the day conversation and cuddle time we used to share. Is it rude to request him to limit his night-time screen time? He seems to think so. -- iPad-Replaced In Portland

22:50 - An attractive friend of mine lives out of state, but is coming to my college graduation in about a month. A few days ago she texted me to say she is drunk, she is up for having sex with me when she is here for my graduation. Being that she was drunk when she sent these text messages, what should my expectations be when I see her, and is there a way I could tastefully bring up this topic again in the meantime to see if the offer still stands when she is sober. -- Missouri Loves Company

29:09 - MZ - Sponsored by Extreme Restraints. Sponsored by Audible. Personal message from Golia & Company. Personal message from Cody. Personal message from Ian.

35:05 - Y - Sent in by Ira Wray, from Yahoo Answers user Alcoholism Is My New Hobby, who asks:
Is That Ira Wray? Wh
Does anyone else's spouse do karate in the shower?

I poked my head in the shower and my husband froze immediately in this strange pose. I asked him what he was doing and he looks at me and says, "Karate." Like it's the most normal thing in the world to do karate in the shower. Anyone else's spouse do weird things in the shower?

40:39 - I am in dire need of your assistance this holiday (read: family-centric) season. My boyfriend and I have been friends for 6 years, together for 3, and have lived in sin for the last 1.5. I don't see his family very often, but when I do things seem a bit strained. The thing is, I'm not sure if his parents don't like me, or if they're just stoic. How can I suss this out without stepping up to one of them over the punch bowl and saying, "Hey, are we cool?" -- Outcast In Indiana

44:23 - Recently, two of my closest friends got in a fight that permanently ended their friendship. While I've successfully stayed out of the conflict and managed to maintain my relationship with both of them, it's still affecting me since they can no longer be in the same room. I want to have a Christmas party, but I can't figure out how to deal with inviting them. How do I get out of this situation with my friendships intact? -- Baffled in Brooklyn

47:56 - Housekeeping

51:44 - FY - Sent in by Renee Laburn, from Yahoo Answers user Tepsy[ =, who asks:

What are the vegetables at subway? List ALL of them?

Dont just guess please

Quotes Edit

On Shower Karate Edit

Oh you have hand soap. In the shower. I didn't know you were a giant hand, sir. I didn't know your body was made up entirely of hands, so that's cool. I guess that's what you think of me. Why don't you just spit on me over and over until I'm wet enough and then clean enough.
— Griffin

Trivia Edit

Deep Cuts Edit

References & Links Edit

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