"The Life Moustache" was originally released on July 13, 2010.

Description Edit

WE'RE LATE. And we're sorry. We've got no excuses, except that, man, it's been such a rough week, and our alarm didn't go off, and Justin's cat ate his audio file. We come to you with humble hearts, with a humble episode in our humble hands. We know you're going to hate it, out of principle, but we're hoping you won't share your anger with other potential listeners.

Suggested Talking Points Edit

Ducky, Omens and Portents, Shoop, The LeBron Continuum, The Itchy Zone, The Sweet and Salty Foamy Spray of Life, kissing your pep-pep, robot B.O.

Outline Edit

01:53 - I'm in West Virginia for a week. Is there anything I should do whilst in Huntington, besides listening to Clint McElroy on 103.3 WTCR Mornings? -- Trav Man Man from Twitter

The 2010 McElroy Guide to Things to Do in Huntington, West Virginia:Edit

Ducky CrabtreeEdit

Travis: If by the time you leave Huntington you don't know what the words "Ducky Crabtree" mean, then you haven't done your job my friend.
Justin: You failed.
Griffin: Ya done fucked up.
Justin : Facebook page for Ducky Crabtree or I quit the internet. There's no point. [1]

Soak in the SightsEdit

Go for a walk on Marshall University's campus.Edit

Go to HillBilly Hotdogs

Hillbilly Hot Dogs


Hunt Down JustinEdit

Justin: Well don't do that.
Griffin: You could hunt down Justin like he's wild game.
Justin: Well don't... Don't do that. I'm gonna vote against that one. Are we voting? Cause I don't think that one's very good.

Stay there for 22 Years and then Leave/Just Kick ItEdit

Travis's Alcoholics Guide to HuntingtonEdit

  • $2 Pitchers at the Union on Monday[2]
  • Karaoke on Tuesday at Sharkey's[3]
  • $5 All You Can Drink Wednesday at Fat Patty's[4] (Travis) and/or the V Club[5](Griffin)
  • Thirsty Thursdays at the Thirsty Whale
  • Friday, Saturday, Sunday: think about the bad decisions you've made.
04:10 - Y - This question was sent in by TJ Mad, loyal listener to the show. Thank you, TJ. Yahoo Answers user Timothy, who asks:
Loyal Listener
What does it mean when kids or Japanese people come and stand next to you? at Are they trying to be friendly?

I was at the supermarket looking at herbs and a boy came and stood next to me. I was at the sports field taking pictures and a Japanese guy in8 baseball gear came and stood near to me and started taking pictures too. I am a guy too. I am Chinese but look Korean/Japanese. Do you have a similar experience? What do you think?

06:08 - Formspring - My best friend's ex-gf constantly hangs out with our friend group, having isolated all her friends when they were dating. This is a problem because even when they were dating we barely tolerated her often selfish and childish behavior. Please help.

08:02 - Hey guys. Is talking to yourself weird? -- Kyle on Gmail

09:20 - There's this girl I like. I'm pretty sure a friend of mine likes her too. She works in the same office as him, so it's likely he's made more progress and just generally has more access to her. He's a good guy, so I'm conflicted. Should I continue the pursuit or back down? -- Shane from Gmail

12:33 - Y - This one comes from Yahoo Answers user Kibby MIA, who asks:

Who better? LeBron with no legs or Kobe with no legs?

Justin: Okay. Kobe Bryant, 31 years old.
Griffin: Are you looking up some stats?
Justin: Yeah. Kobe Bryant, 31 years old. And, according to this card that I cut off the back of his action figure, he's got a power rating of 8.
Griffin: That's a lot of fuckin' power dude.
Travis: On a scale of 10?
Justin: Yeah. His smarts are a 9. And his tech skills are a 7.
Griffin: Jesus. This guy's a fuckin' supergenius.
Justin: Yes. He's a supergenius. He's a supergenius super slam dunk artist.
Griffin: : What's he doing ballin'? He should be up in NASA taking us to the moon and shit.
Justin: He balls at night and invents during the day.
Griffin: Oh my god.
Justin: LeBron James. Age: 25. Power rating: 9.
G & T: Oh!!
Justin: Yeah. Smarts: 7. Tech skill, get this, 10.
G & T: Holy shit!
Griffin: Do you guys remember when time travel was invented in the year 2010 by the king? By the basketball king, the king of all basketball?
Justin: "We have to get back!" "How?" "There's only one way! We have to subvert the laws of the LeBron Continuum!"
Griffin: Fuck, LeBron, you missed that really important three-pointer and now the Miami Heat lost their basketball game. Not so fast! Pew pew pew, time travels back and makes the shot. That's what that sound was.
Justin: He goes back and he meets George Washington and a clown, and he helps them decide where to put the state capital. LeBron James in The Time Belt![6]

17:22 - My woman wants me to shave the ol' berry patch. Any suggestions to get the job done as clean as possible. -- BC Potter from Twitter

19:14 - Formspring - I have a friend who doesn't like to experience new forms of entertainment because he's afraid he won't understand them without knowing everything about them. What do?

22:25 - Y - Yahoo Answers user Holly asks:

Is it weird to kiss your dad on the lips?

Just a quick kiss on the lips, no tongue eww. I do it to say hello, bye, I love you, etc. My sister used to do it too, but she's grown out of it now and I haven't. I'm 20 btw.

Justin: The good part of this situation is it is a no-loss. Because if you kiss your dad on the lips and you think it's okay... Then other people, if they say "Hey that's weird, you're a weirdo." you can say "Why don't you get your head out of the gutter? It's my dad, sicko." Then they're the sick ones.
Griffin: I think there's a way to be creepy about it though.
Justin: No.
Griffin: I'm just kissin' my dad on his sweet, bristly lips. Don't look at me.
Justin: What's up with that Stamos stubble, dad? I'm gonna buy you a Gillette fusion.
Travis: I think it's the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Griffin: Well, there it is.
Travis: I'm just gonna be straight up. I'm usually pretty accepting of abnormal behavior, but fuck that. That is weird.
Griffin: I don't think you know, though, until you do it. I think everyone, after they're done listening to this episode, needs to go find their pep-pep and plant one on him. Right on his sweet lips.
Justin: I've been looking for a good sign-off for the show for so long, and I think "Kiss your dad square on the lips" is probably...
Griffin: Square on his sweet, plump lips.
Justin: Kiss your dad.
Travis: Oh god. I'm so disgusted right now.
Justin: You're like, retching in your throat.
Travis: Yes. I hate both of you. I'm muting my microphone as we speak so I can vomit in the corner.
Griffin: *kissing noises* C'mere daddy, c'mere pep-pep. Here it comes.

24:14 - Is it worth it to pick up a penny? That is, considering the amount of energy expended and the cost of food required to provide said energy, can a penny be considered profit? -- Ryan, Gmail

27:50 - Housekeeping 

  • Griffin lists ways to get in touch:, email at, send in question on, tweet @mbmbam or #mbmbam
  • Justin talks about two new MBMBaM shirts: dark blue with MBMBaM logo in white, cream color shirt with purple Jeffrey drawing. 
  • Plug for MBMBaM facebook group, phone number, and iPhone app.
  • Travis thanks everyone for spreading the word, and Zack Luye specifically for introducing ladies (gasp!) to MBMBaM.
  • Griffin thanks everyone for their patience, and apologies to Jeremy, Evan and TJ for not crediting them for sending in Yahoos.
31:42 - FY - This one was sent in by the greatest American hero, Tristan. The question is from Darwin:
Greatest American He
Is Taylor Swift illuminati?

Quotes Edit

If that doesn't work, you could always dump a bucket of pig's blood on her. She'll get the message. Toot sweet, I think.
— Justin

Trivia Edit

  • First episode with the sign-off "Kiss your dad square on the lips."
  • MBMBaM t-shirts introduced: dark blue with MBMBaM logo & cream with purple Jeffrey, both with art by Justin Russo .
  • The MBMBaM app is introduced.

Deep Cuts Edit

  • When Justin says "[LeBron] goes back and he meets George Washington and a clown, and he helps them decide where to put the state capital. LeBron James in The Time Belt" he's referencing his own starring role in the 90's public access television show, The Time Belt.

References & Links Edit

  6. The Time Belt

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