"The Ballad of Dunkleman" was originally released on July 22, 2013.
We return, refreshed from a week of mixed drinks and dolphin kisses. This episode benefits from that refreshment, as we spend no small amount of time talking about dolphin kisses, which are probably the best kisses imaginable.
Suggested Talking Points Edit
Dolphin Heavenmobile, Tats, Eye Viscera Brothers, Yakov Smirnoff's Jerk-Off Haus, Sharknado IP Theft, Wallet Chain, 5'10" Hoops, Vices
06:47 - I'm eighteen, and I want to get a tattoo. The problem is my parents don't want me to get one. Normally this wouldn't be a big issue for me, but I don't know that my wanting a tattoo comes from the fact that actually I want one, or because I just want to do something to rebel against my parents. What can I do to sort out my confusion? -- Tattoo Snafu'ed In Toronto12:46 - Y - Sent in by Ira Wray, from a deleted Yahoo Answers user, who asks:
What's the most pain free way to become blood brothers with my roommate and best friend Adam?
Me and my roommate want to become blood brothers, but neither of us want to cut ourselves. What would be the most pain-free way for us to cut ourselves. Where would it hurt the least? Should we be afraid of bleeding to death?
21:09 - Paraphrased by Justin - Got a new job, she handles reimbursements for gym memberships (which their company gives out), but the employees have to turn in their bank statements to prove that they actually got this. Usually they cross out the statements, but she says one of her coworkers submitted his statement without crossing anything out, [end of paraphrasing] and I noticed that the monthly charge from the gym was right below a monthly charge to MaxFun on each month's statement. The problem is I just started working here and this is literally the only thing I know about the guy. How do I bring it up and bond with this dude over our awesome taste in podcasts without being crazy awkward or seeming like a total creeper? Sincerely, the new receptionist girl.
25:14 - Y - Sent in by Julie Martin, from Yahoo Answers user Mens, who asks:
What would happen if a shark got caught in a whirlpool/hurricane?
When you get sucked into a whirlpool you can't get out (most likely) and you drown. Sharks don't need oxygen so would anything happen to them to harm them? Now about the hurricane. Would the hurricane be strong enough to carry the shark long enough that it would fall on to land?
29:55 - MZ - Sponsored by Warby Parker. Personal message from Regan brothers. Personal message from Philly Cheesesteak and Kiwi. Sponsored by Extreme Restraints. Advertisement for Sawbones.
38:54 - I'm a chronicly forgetful gentleman who constantly loses everyday things (keys, wallet, phone, etc). After losing my wallet several times, my aunt bought me one with a chain on it for my birthday. I found it very convenient. The problem is, the fashion statement I'm making with this wallet is not consistent with my intended persona. [Justin paraphrases] This question-asker works in a government office, he's 27 years old, and he just doesn't think it fits with his look, so he asks: [Justin stop paraphrasing] Am I good, or is the stigma as bad as I fear? -- Shackled In Silver Spring, Mariland
45:18 - Y - Sent in by Ninja Farmer's Wife, from Yahoo Answers user Cory Lucas, who asks:
does dunking at 5 10 attract women?
i can dunk and im 5 10 will that improve my chances of scoring with a girl?
49:10 - I need vices. I don't like tobacco. I don't smoke pot. Due to medical problems, I can't drink alcohol anymore. I even have a low tolerance for caffeine. I hate going to parties with other twenty-somethings because inevitably I'm the weird guy standing around drinking water while everyone else has fun. Any suggestions for stuff to do? -- Least Cool Person Ever In Corvallis, Oregon
55:02 - Housekeeping
59:49 - FY - Sent in by Reedzilla, from Yahoo Answers user Molly, who asks:
What happens at a Paul McCartney concert?
On Soviet Russia Joke Edit
- “In my country, dolphin kills you!"
"How's that low hanging fruit taste, Travie?"
"It was pretty good. It's low hanging don't mean it aint sweet.”
- — Travis & Griffin