"The Two-Hundredth One" was originally released on May 12, 2014.

Description Edit

Gang, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the wind beneath our wings, and also the wings themselves. You're also the rest of the plane, or the bird, depending on what kind of wings we're talking about, here.

Suggested Talking Points Edit

Singing Episode, Pussywillow Tribal Tattoo, Steellll Dreamz, Velociraptor Hugs, Lenny Kravitz' Fiery Bird Dress Hotline, All-Purpose Goof Room

Outline Edit

05:56 - Hi brothers, I've been spending the last year or so getting fit and beefy. I got designs drawn up for a couple tattoos that I've wanted for a few years, and I've told myself I'd only get them when I finally got my sexy right. Now that I'm there, I feel like I might be too old to get my first tattoo. I'm twenty-five. I get the feeling that getting your first tattoo is something for rebellious teens or dipshit college kids. Did I miss the window, or am I good? -- Hesitant In Houston

10:36 - Y - Sent in by Peter Steiner, from a deleted Yahoo Answers user, who asks:

What are some hot guy names?

yeahh just umm tell me guy names that sound hot
thanks! =]

18:48 - You answered two of my questions, but I only took your advice on one because I'm lazy. In Episode 159 [actually Episode 153: God Made a Bridge Troll] you answered my question about apologizing to a friend about dating her ex. My cover name was Monster Engine. I decided to take Travis' advice of in vino veritas[1] and got drunk with her. It did not devolve into In Vino Punchitas, fortunately. We laughed about it, and she forgave me entirely. In fact, she is now a listener of your hilarious and amazing show. You guys also wrote a Jumbotron for me from my boyfriend Eric in Episode 183, which was fantastic. It was only a month after our anniversary, so don't sweat the fuck up.

19:36 - Hey brothers, you answered my question in Episode 104 concerning song choice at karaoke. After your suggestions of, "Don't choose a downer," "Something good but would claim to like ironically," and "Slap [my] erect dick on the mic," I ended up choosing Some Like It Hot by The Power Station. It was a hit that ended up getting people clapping to the beat. Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to throw the goods around, but I'm sure it would have earned a standing ovation. Thanks for the help! -- The Artist Formerly Known As Thunder Waffle

21:34 - Petting zoo boyfriend here from Episode 162. My lady and I decided to just have a kid so that we could take her to the petting zoo. Follow-up question: how old does she have to be to go to the petting zoo. She's about three months old by the time you read this (don't question the numbers, Travis). -- Zany In Zaftig In The Zoo

23:33 - I sent you a question for Episode 108 about getting my sexy so right as a gamer. You told me to get super fit, dress classy, and not give any fucks about what people think about my gaming. Well, since then I've lost ten pounds, completed two half-marathons, and greatly improved my wardrobe. Best of all, about a year after I wrote in I met my super-wonderful girlfriend whose as into games as I am. Lately we've been marathoning through the [Justin skips this part] I introduced her to the show, and now we listen every week. Thank you for all the wonderful help and support over the years. -- Formally Digitally Distraught In Davis

25:29 - I wrote in two to three years ago[2] worried about being taken seriously by the employees. Justin laid down some wisdom about being lavish with my affirmation or something like that, and then the advice winded up including something about a rubber baby I think. Post advice, I actually did try to be more positive with my employees - this was to no available. The situation actually got really bad, employees threw things at me, there were all sorts of racially-insensitive but otherwise inappropriate language, threats and physical intimidation, and these people were older than my parents and acting like this, so I quit and went to grad school. I graduate next week, and will be working as an individual contributor in a more professional environment. I don't think any advice could have saved me from the situation I was in.

27:00 - You guys discussed various social dynamics of hugging vis-à-vis friend groups, but what if you're in a situation where you want to hug some of the group but not all of them. I hang out with a group of friends on the reg, and mostly I don't see those people outside the group situations. I like everyone, but I'm kind of picky who I let inside my touch bubble, and only some of the people in this group qualify. I want to hug them because I don't see them much; otherwise, I don't want the non-huggables feel bad. Is there a way to negotiate this smoothly? -- I Need A Hug But Not From You

32:59 - MZ - Sponsored by Nature Box. Sponsored by SquareSpace. Sponsored by The Spencer Owen. Personal message from Caramel. Advertisement for Stop Podcasting Yourself.

40:47 - I got advice from you in Episode 130: Holy Terror I wanted to send you an update for Episode 200 check-ins. I wrote in asking if it was okay to have a friend/ex-girlfriend help me pick out a gift for a current girlfriend. I loosely followed the advice Travis gave me, who you dubbed "Large Marge" (note, she is actually a petite Asian girl), recommend some hip stores rather than a specific gift, and with that I was able to pick out a nice gift myself. The present was a hit with my girlfriend, we are still dating to this day and very much in love. In addition, eventually I got a chance to introduce my friend and my girlfriend, and they hit it off really well. I have been listening to the show since around Episode 16, and I'm a Max Fun donor. Thanks for all the great work. Looking forward to the next hundred episodes. Thanks again. -- Gift Blind Guy In Minneapolis

41:54 - I'm Hungry And Awkward[3], the guy who wondered if my Chinese delivery guy was flirting by adding extra things to my order. I weighed the value of the food against the awkwardness of the situation, and decided to say "screw it" and asked him out. Wasn't gay. He had no idea about the extra stuff. Turned out the dude was just a friendly guy. Luckily, it was a totally non-awkward situation, we both laughed it off, and I'm still able to order my whole grilled fish and weird spicy sauce without a problem. He even pointed out another dude who works there who was gay, but sadly that did not work out well. -- Satisfied And Secure

42:56 - Back in Episode 87 I asked you how to gain weight for a movie role, and signed it "Irritating Thin Portland Hipster". I ate a ton of bread because that was what I could afford. I did not, as Travis suggested, do a ton of squats to try to gain the weight "all in [my] legs", but I still looked a little bigger and it read well on camera. I'm now a slightly less thin LA hipster, and the movie, A Tale To Delight, comes out on video-on-demand this month. -- Brian

43:42 - Writing a follow up on advice given[4] about my friend's fantasy football league that I had been forcibly drafted into. Your advice was three-fold: 1) Get out of the league. 2) Moneyball. 3) Something about looking at the players' teeth. Well, just wanted to let you know that my friend got in trouble at work and lost his internet privileges, so the league collapsed before it even began. Happy endings all around. Thanks for the advice. -- Sam From Lakewood

44:38 - Y - Sent in by Campbell Bird, from Yahoo Answers user Liv, who asks:

How to command attention and have a presence?

When I walk into a room I want to look like I mean business. I want to have they thing about me that makes people look up and pay attention when I speak or walk into a room. I want tone like an unstoppable force.
Is it something too with appearance? The clothes I wear?
Something to do with how I present myself? (Posture, the way I walk, etc)
Or the way I speak?

I feel invisible when I walk into a room, literally nobody notices can I fix this?

50:21 - Starting next month, two of my friends and I will be moving into a new house together. Each of us will have our own bedroom, but there is an extra medium-sized room downstairs no one will be using. The room has no egress window, so we don't want to make it into a bedroom, but we're at a loss for what we should do with it. I was hoping the brothers could give us ideas about what we can do with the extra space. Any thoughts? -- Many Problem In Minneapolis

P.S. For what it's worth, we're all guys.

55:30 - I wrote in asking advice[5] on how to get our babysitter to skedaddle after my husband and I return from a date night. You guys offered many practical solutions, and we naturally chose Justin's about faking explosive diarrhea immediately upon our return to apply to our next night out. However, the fates intervened and it seems they didn't smile upon our flagrant dishonesty, as we didn't need to fake an illness, and I got horribly car sick on the drive home from our date. I did end up brushing through the door and making it rain dollars on the babysitter on my way to the bathroom, so in that way our plan was a success. Thanks so much for all you guys do, really enjoy your show, happy two-hundred.

57:18 - Housekeeping

61:38 - FY - Sent in by Michael R, from Yahoo Answers user Glenn, who asks:

How to get Cosmo Kramer hair?

Quotes Edit

On Physical Fitness Edit

I'm just going to throw this out: if I ran two half-marathons in my life, I'd tell people I ran a whole marathon.
— Travis

On Nature Box? Edit

Griffin, you know what makes the best sauce? Worcestershire.
— Travis

On Charisma Edit

Let me leave you with this: rather than asking people to look at you, dare them not to. Next question.
— Travis

Trivia Edit

Deep Cuts Edit

References & Links Edit

  1. Latin phrase for "in wine, truth"
  2. Refers to Episode 69: Krumbelievable
  3. Refers to Episode 106: Bicentennial Dad
  4. Referring to Episode 157: Chris Sabones
  5. Referring to Episode 193: Journey to the Center of the Bear

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