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Transcript Edit

Introduction Edit

Justin: Hello everybody welcome to My Brother my brother and me, an advice show for the modren era, I’m your oldest brother… Justin McElroy
Travis: I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy
Griffin: I'm your babiest brother, Griffin Leibowitz
Travis: Wait, Griffin, are you using your married name?
Griffin: I'm using my stage name, Griffin Leibowitz. Griffin… Griffin "The Experience" Leibowitz
Travis: I like that.
Justin: You know guys I’m getting pretty excited, cause it's back to school! time.
Travis: And how does that affect your day-to-day life, Justin?
Justin: Well finally, I can ship this kid off for 8 hours a day.
Griffin: (no)
Justin: And get a little time back to myself.
Griffin: I don't see why you can't… get a leg up
Justin: (yeah)
Griffin: Getting an early start.
Justin: (mhmm)
Griffin: It takes 10,000 hours to become a (master of school and--)
Travis: (Start it now.)
Griffin: Start it now!
Justin: "Hi, does your, uh, are your, is your entire school… are all the sharp edges foamed over? [Griffin laughs] Have you foamed over every sharp edge in your school?"
Griffin: "Listen - (i'm gonna--)"
Justin: "(These stairs that you have…) What is that about? Like… stairs?"
Griffin: "I’m gonna need a strict "no bullying" guarantee from you. Because my baby can't stand… can't… she's an amazing child. She can not stand up to much physical bullying"
Travis: "She can't stand up very well"
Griffin: "She can't stand up either - but uh - but if she starts getting bullied, she doesn't have the tools to protect herself."
Justin: "I… I noticed that at 10am you have her scheduled for, uh, pre-algebra? That's crazy because she'll be asleep. [Travis laughs] Where's her, where is her nap zone?"
Travis: "Uhm, is there a class I can enroll her in where she watches shapes and colors move on an iPad?"
Justin: "do you have any parental incentives for good grades? Like some sort of Pizza Hut program, for me?"
Travis: [laughs] Wait that doesn't happen for like regular kids in school, (Justin).
Justin: (Yeah) but I’ve never been a parent before, Travis, I don't know this stuff. Maybe the - the - maybe parents have been getting pizza kickbacks the entire time. That's the only reason I can think of that parents care about grades. Maybe the whole reason parents have been so uptight about grades since time in memorial is they've been getting pizza kickbacks
Griffin: Suggesting that when kids pull down a tight GPA --
Justin: Right.
Griffin: Their parents reap the - the, that sweet pie? That sweet pizza pie? (As a reward?)
Justin: (They get -) if the kids get a good GPA, the parents get a P.W.A.T.F., which is: a Pizza With All the Fixin's
Griffin: Ok… and maybe some tokens! If they do (real good!)
Justin: ([Laughing] Maybe a few tokens) for - for the folks.
Travis: Is there an adult equivalent to like, back to school - is it first day on the job? Month…
Justin: this is the - that is the - Travis, you have highlighted one of the primary problems with adulthood, is the lack of like sort of a cyclical period of renewal. (You know?)
Travis: (Right?)
Justin: That's what adulthood is lacking, that's why adulthood is what it is… BAD. Because it lacks - [Justin and Travis laugh] (it lacks a certain…)
Travis: (Hey kids, turn it off now, we're getting real.)
Justin: Nobody said - like when you're a kid, it is the - ok, being a kid is the time in your life where I think you least need someone to be like, "Just… Take a break my man. (You can just chill for three months".) [Griffin laughs]
Travis: (You a - you uh, are burning the candle) at both ends, Devin.
Justin: Yeah. Just, this is so - when you work from 7 to 3 and then you have nothing to do at all… like you can literally have a time when you sit and say "I don't have anything to worry about right now!" Like, "I don't have anything I should be doing." That's… (CRAZY.)
Travis: (yeah)
Justin: That's INSANE. Do you know how crazy it is - there are humans, walking across this earth who like, can sit in a chair and not have something they should be doing at that exact instant, and then someone comes and says "hey, you look tired! (Take 3 months off!) [Griffin and Travis laugh] Oh and by the way, in taking 3 months off - you are generating ANOTHER thing for the adults that live with you to be worried about. Like - you are creating more stress for them, but seriously, you look BEAT. Take 3 months off." [Travis sighs] It's insane.
Griffin: Do you guys think that the three of us are slowly becoming, this - this - this - uh, this weekly podcast that we put out, is slowly becoming some sort of digital embodiment of Andy Rooney, like it's somehow, you know that movie Transcendence? Where Johnny Depp (uploads himself) -
Justin: (mhmm)
Griffin: Into the Matrix or some shit? I didn't see it - I watched a little bit of it on a plane, muted -
Travis: I listened to Flop House, they pretty much ran through it for me.
Griffin: Ok, um - I think that might be, I think that Andy Rooney might be us in the podcast form.
Justin: Maybe. But… maybe it's like not the Andy Rooney - like maybe we're not growing into like cantankerous old men like Andy Rooney, maybe like, the older I get, Andy Rooney just starts to make some SENSE right? [Travis laughs] Like, what ARE all these different fruits at the supermarket? Right?
Travis: Do you remember when yogurt used to just (taste like yogurt)?
Griffin: (no)
Justin: When it just tasted like tangy (yogurt)?
Griffin: (I can't) go with you guys on (this one).
Travis: (You will Griffin. See you in three years.)
Justin: (You will!)
Griffin: (No.) I like exotic fruits! I like exotic yogurt flavours! [Travis sighs] Uh - (lets-)
Justin: (I had) a fun exotic fruit experience a couple weeks ago - I bought, I was at the - the "Cha-Cha" Kroger, again -
Griffin: (Krah-gey!)
Justin: (an epicentre) of all the best anecdotes. And I found a fruit that I didn't recognize, it was really weird, it had like a spiny outside, and like, it looked kind of good? Like, I don't know, I’ll try anything once. And I got to the cash register, and the… [laugh] the woman didn't, obviously - like - because who does - she didn't know what the fruit was called? There was no sticker or anything on it? So she asked me what it was so she could ring it up, and I had no - [Griffin laughs] I had no clue. So… [laugh] I’m in this situation, where I’m looking, so this woman's like: "you're buying it?"

"yes." "you know what it is?" "I do not. No. I don't."

Travis: [Griffin laughs] Justin to be fair, (at that point)
Justin: (I had to Google)
Travis: (She's the most) in the wrong, cause she should be like, the experienced professional working there. You're - You're going on a new flavor experience. She's the one who's supposed to be in the know; she's paid to work there.
Justin: yeah but like, I - ok - Travis, this poor woman works at Kroger at like 1 o'clock in the afternoon, like, I don't expect her to be my "exotic flavor sommelier" (Like she has- )
Travis: (but don't you feel like) you look cooler when she's like "Do you know what it's called?" and you're like "Nope. But I’m gonna eat it."
Justin: No I look like an idiot!
Griffin: You look (like a impulsive idiot)
Justin: (like I don't know.) [laughs] (Yeah, like- )
Griffin: (cause you're also) - in that moment - you're also admitting, "I dunno, I just saw it! And I thought, me and you." [Justin laughs] me and you - this is destiny
Travis: "I can eat this. You’re a weird fruit. Get in my face!"
Griffin: Was it a durian?
Justin: Maybe it was a dur- no it was a like a - like inside it was like grape, but on the outside it had hard (spines).
Griffin: (I think) you ate like some sort of alien SEED! That the Government put there. And now you're gonna have like, super powers. It's gonna be like District 9.
Justin: I really like to think that that would have started. This culminated with me [laughs] this culminated with me, Googling a loose description of the image of the fruit in the hopes that I could figure out what it was called (on my phone)
Griffin: (spiny-fruit-Justin-wants-to-eat!)
Justin: spiny-fruit-to-eat-for-inside-small-spiny-fruit-how-to-eat?
Travis: cash – cashier-also-doesn't-know-what-is.
Griffin: sold-at-Kroger. Kroger-exotic-spike-fruit
Travis: “Dear Jeeves [laugh] what is this food?”
Griffin: Yes, my favorite search engine, "Dear Jeeves". Justin, (ask a question). [Travis laughs]
Justin: (They were) rambutan (by the way)
Griffin: (ok)
Justin: I've learned this since, because they were delicious. Rambutans!
Griffin: And there's your weekly fruit recommendation.
Justin: This has been fruit recos (with your boy)
Griffin: (Stay tuned next week) for… strawberries.
Justin: This has been Juicy Justin, Reminding you -
Griffin: (Rambutans!)
Justin: To get that C that you crave. [Griffin laughs] Vitamin C - I mean.

Question #1 (08:46) Edit

In a month I'll be defending myself in court over a speeding ticket. Do the three of you have any experience with contesting a ticket? Any advice for a first-time defendant? Court Hacks?! - Your pal, and shaman, Drew Davenport.

Griffin: Your pal, and Drew Davenport, M. Night. Shyamalan
Travis: Justin, didn't you once, I feel like you once told me or read a thing that was like, "Pick a day when you know the cop's off-duty and then he won't show up" and like, "Write down his badge number!" and like -
Justin: Yes, Travis, I have some hacks that I read on the internet 10 years ago that I've never tried, that may, or may not work. That's the first one, figure out when the officer, the arresting officer, will have the day off, cause you're supposed to (be able to face your accuser. Face your accuser in court). [Travis laughs]
Griffin: (How do you get that?) How do you get that information?
Travis: What? You're supposed to say "Hey I'd like to give you a free vacation, you got any time off coming up? This is uhhhhhhhhhhh… Disney. [Griffin and Travis laugh] This is Walt Disney"
Griffin: "This is Craig Disney. You got kids? (Nope? Well shit… It's good- )"
Travis: ([laughs] WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES)
Griffin: "It's good for grownups too, we just got a Margaritaville. Get down here! You gotta get down here, right on the (Mystic Mountain.)"
Travis: (Have you guys- )
Justin: (The other one) I’ve heard is that if you go to like the Court House and you file a "discovery motion" on your case, then you can find out when the last time the speed gun that they used to get you was - uh - updated, or like checked for, and there's like certain time period in which they're supposed to be checked - and if it hasn't been checked during that time period, then you can get it thrown out. I've heard that too.
Travis: Have you guys ever contested anything in court?
Griffin: Yes.
Justin: I got a ticket for an expired inspection wiped a few times, because that's how I would know when it was time to actually get my (inspection done).
Travis: (Oh yeah), that's a McElroy special. I did that, took me three years, they towed the car. And the dude turned the car and was like, "I’ll go get it right now" and he was like "It's been three years man. I - I don't know what you want me to do." I like (how he apologized.)
Griffin: (I - uh)
Travis: Griffin what did you, what did you contest in court?
Griffin: So there was, after Justin- you gave me the Oldsmobile, and (thank you- )
Justin: (Yup)
Griffin: I don't thank you enough for that. Thank you.
Justin: The Cutlass, (that was a supreme car.)
Griffin: (Thank you for that) tight Cutlass Ciera. Uhh, that had no brakes when you gave it to me - and I never just repaired that particular malady. Uh - I uh - there was a cop that came by, and gave me a ticket every day! For like two weeks, he just drove by the house and gave me a ticket and like there was a long period when the car wouldn't run, uh - we didn't like have the title for it for some reason, I was in the process for requesting another title but there was so much other paperwork I had to get! There was nothing I could do! This car was just gonna sit in place and get tickets until I could get the paperwork, and I was waiting on the paperwork and this dick cop would just roll by everyday and give me a ticket in the same spot. And so, I stopped paying them until I got all that stuff figured out, and knowing that I could like go to court and explain this situation away. And one morning he caught me getting into my car, going to school, and he was like writing up a ticket, and he was like, " You can either come with me to court right now and pay these off, or I’m going to take you to jail" and I was like "Woooah! Damn." Cause at that point it was like, maybe almost a grand, and I was in college, I didn't have a grand. So I went and I paid half of it, and then, they said, "You have to pay half of it now, and you can contest the rest later". And so I went to jail - I didn't go to jail! - (I went to court)
Justin: (Jail!)
Travis: (Woah! Griffin got hard!)
Griffin: (I went to) court - I was facing like 500 other dollars in fines, and uh, my secret? Here's my little pro-tip for you Drew Davenport - I was a, I was a freshman in college - knee high to a frog, cherubic in every way, and I just uh, cried a little bit!
Travis: NICE! That's what I was gonna say! I contested a noise a violation, and wept in court.
Griffin: Yeah (I just cried a little bit!)
Travis: (I was a sophomore) in college.
Griffin: Because like, I was, I had been driving for like a MONTH. I was like, "I just don't - I just it's so frustrat- I don't have that money like I don't have anywhere I can get that money and it's just like I wanna take care of this! I do. And I…” uhhhhhhhhh [wails] [Travis laughs] And then they saw me out - I didn't have to pay it. But that DICK cop, am I (right?)
Justin: (yeah that's a dick move)
Griffin: That cop was - Listen. Support our troops. But that cop was a DICK. (That's- )
Travis: (support our Street Troops)
Griffin: That's some grade-A shit. I even explained it to him, when he like caught me outside and I was like "Dude, listen. I was, yes, I’ll do this, I’ll take care of this. I CANT take of this until I get this one paper back." and he was like, "I don't care man, I’ll take you to the - take you to the pokey!" Really? DICK? You’re gonna take me (to the pokey?)
Justin: (That's insane) I just remembered that I fought a ticket that I got in College because I couldn't read it. Uh, like I couldn't read what they were charging me with. Like it was literally, it was chicken scratch. And I told the clerk - I was like, "Listen. I can't contest this, I can't tell you if it - like what the deal is, because I can't read the ticket! So I don't know, I don't know what it's for!" I knew what it was for. But I was like "I don't know what- " It's because I was too far away from the curb. That used to be a big problem for me, cause I only drove big cars! I drove a Chevy Malibu and then a Cutlass Ciera! It's hard to park those bad boys.
Griffin: Here's what I'll say. Drew Davenport, I know you - you are a, you are a mountain of a man. Statuesque. Very tall. And… I don't think anything is sadder than a very big man crying. [Travis and Justin laugh] (Am I right?)
Travis: (Full on like,) shoulder shaking.
Griffin: Oh my god, cause yeah, you can put a lot of, a lot of muscle [Justin agrees] behind that cry and (you can)
Travis: (oh a wail down the street)
Griffin: Mine was sort of a pitiful [sniffles] and that's not like the style you want to go for. You need a full, complete emotional breakdown.
Justin: Yeah, just like drop your axe to the ground, (let it like-)
Travis: (mhmm)
Justin: create a crevice in the courtroom floor. [Griffin agrees] Maybe get Babe, your blue ox, to start crying alongside of you. (And I think you should)
Travis: (You cry the Colorado River.)
Justin: Cry the Colorado River, right. And people will be like "this isn't an offender, this is a legend."
Griffin: A - a single, perfect, orb-shaped tear falls out of your one Cyclops eyeball. [Justin giggles] Do you guys want a yahoo?
Travis: If all else fails, Drew, just mention our name.
Justin: There should be an asterisk under, after every tip we just gave in the past, like, 10 minutes, that just says *only if you are white.
Griffin: (Oh right, right, sure)
Justin: (Only if you are a white person.) Like, get like that - that - it's important to recognize that the loopholes in the system that we have mentioned here are - are pretty much just applicable to white people because the, the country is broken. But other than that, go, go - go for it.
Griffin: But! I think, I dunno, I think “white people” is a pretty big group of people. (And it's --)
Justin: (Oh you think) there are a lot of white people?
Travis: (Oh, go on, Griffin)
Griffin: (I'm just saying that-)
Travis: (Tell me more, Malcom Gladwell)
Griffin: (I'm just saying that- ) I'm not, [laughs] I’m not saying that we've WON the numbers game! [Justin grunts] What I’m saying is that our advice is rarely applicable to modest groups of people. And this is a LOT - white people - there's a LOT OF them. Do you guys want a Yahoo, please.
Travis: (Yes)
Justin: (Ok, yes - do a yahoo)
Griffin: This one is sent in by level 9000, Cyclops crier, Drew Davenport (thank you)
Travis: ([laughs] Open weeper, Drew Davenport)
Griffin: (Blabbing) baby man, Drew Davenport sent this in, thank you - it's by YaDrew answers user Vadid, who asks:

Question #2 (15:55) Y Edit

Which celebrities love watching pokemon or reading pokemon fan fiction stories? Please answer!?

I want a list of celebrities that love watching pokemon or reading pokemon fan fiction stories. Thanks in advance.

Griffin: Now I will admit, I'll confess. That I only brought this up, and I don't think we're gonna get a lot of talkin' - talking points out of this but, this week, Ronda Rousey, the strongest human being currently living (did and interview-)
Travis: ([mhmm])
Griffin: On some red carpet, where she talked about Pokémon for like 5 minutes. [Travis gasps]
Travis: God, she just keeps getting cooler and cooler.
Griffin: She buys our Pokémon game, all the Pokémon cards - she's got em all, she catches em all. And, I think, I wanna get - we have a lot of listeners at this point, billions (basically --)
Justin: ([mhmm])
Griffin: I wanna try and get some sort of campaign going, to have a Pokémon duel with Ronda Rousey.
Travis: Ohhhhh can we please make that happen?! Ok - here's how to sweeten the pot: Ronda Rousey, if you're listening - Griffin will duel you in Pokémon, and then you guys can FIGHT like in a ring. So that way, you get Griffin's strength, you get your strength, and then we'll do a tiebreaker if it comes to that. Griffin, are you prepared to get beat up by Ronda Rousey?
Griffin: I - I think I could stand a pretty good chance in there ([laughs])
Travis: (I don't know) she beat up Turtle real good in the Entourage (movie.)
Griffin: (OH god) I was hoping we could talk about Ronda Rousey without talking about the (Entourage movie.)
Travis: (YOU HOPED WRONG!)
Griffin: [laughs] You can't hope wrong.
Justin: I will tell you two things: I know of two celebrities off the top of my head uhh, that uh, that are Pokémon fans. I know for a fact William Hung, was a - You remember William Hung? He had a, [laughing] his star shined brightly but fast. [Griffin laughs] He was an American Idol bad singer? He did " She Bangs". Remember (that guy?)
Griffin: (Yeah!)
Justin: That guy was into Pokémon. And uh, Harry Potter! I know is into Pokémon. Daniel Radcliffe - he loved Pokemon.
Travis: (Nate Irving- )
Griffin: (Uh- )
Justin: He compared Horcruxes to Pokémon on an interview I saw once.
Griffin: Ernie Hudson. (None of this-)
Travis: (Is that true?)
Griffin: Yeah Ernie Hudson is a big big big BIG into Pokémon cards. Anyway, I just, listen. This was all, (this is- )
Justin: (A little self-serving)
Griffin: A little self-serving. But I did just want to get that out there if anybody knows Ronda - uh, I'm not even like bragging like [tough voice] "I wanna take down Ronda Rou-“ I’m, she would probably beat me in that. Like she probably knows the best way to fight in any like, terms. Right?
Justin: (right)
Griffin: (Like if) we played, uh, Canasta, she would - she would know how to be a champion.
Justin: How did you punch me? You did find a rule that lets you punch me in the head? [Griffin laughs]
Griffin: It says right here, I can't contest it - this is a - this is a (deep index.)
Justin: (Wow.)
Griffin: How bout this other YaDrew? Sent in by Drew Davenport. Sent in by "YaDrew Answers" user Miss, who asks:

Question #3 (18:51) Y Edit

I need good ideas on a trap to set up on my roomate?

who is snooping thru my **** everytime I leave. I don't want water traps. I want something that is gonna make her think twice about going in my room ever again.


Travis: So like incendiary devices… we're looking… how DEADLY do you want to go? Is this like punitive? Or like uh-
Justin: I have a suggestion, uhhh - that I’d like to suggest?! If I may be, (uh-so bold.)
Griffin: (Oh my god.) I know exactly where it's going.
Justin: [laughing] This is a suggestion that you can employ with uhhh under $3, I think. Probably 2, if you buy (store brand.)
Griffin: (How could) I not see this coming?
Justin: What if you - the next time your roommate goes to peruuuuse your belongings in your underwear drawer, [Griffin laughs] they find, ohh, surprise surprise, their hand has NOT been embedded in your delicates… your delicate unmentionables. But in FACT, has found its way… to a (jar of jelly.)
Griffin: ([chuckles] Ok--)
Travis: Now Justin, wait I-- [Justin howls] I have a very important question here.
Justin: Yessss
Travis: Do you remove your unmentionables first, before you fill the drawer with jelly?
Griffin: (cause there's) - YEAH there's gonna be FLIES. (That's uh, one of many problems.)
Justin: (you have. to cover.) the jelly. Underneath a particularly tantalizing pair of (underwear.)
Griffin: (Oh my god)
Justin: One that they DEFINITELY try to rifle through. Maybe you put on the jar, "drugs and money here!" [Travis agrees] And then you replace the label. And then they go to retrieve their treasure, and instead find some strawbrerry preserves!
Griffin: (Is it dark in the room?)
Travis: (wait, HOLD ON.) You're changing your story. Are we talking preserves? Or are we talking jelly, sir?
Justin: Uh, it depends on the part of the country and seasonal availability. You have to buy locally grown. (Is the thing).
Travis: (Fair enough) Or else she could become allergic.
Justin: Go to your local Farmer's Market - ask for the jar that the people would least like to have their hands stuck in - they'll know what you're (talking about).
Travis: ("What's your best) prank jelly?"
Griffin: Can I - I don't want to be contrarian here, cause I know how deeply you've subscribed to this, this jelly (notion).
Justin: (Also) jelly the knobs.
Travis: (Oh my god yeah)
Griffin: (Ohhhh yeah)
Justin: (You jelly) those drawer knobs. Ooooooo (big regret)
Griffin: (But, ok) Now you're just being redundant, then. Because if you jelly the knobs, they’re not gonna move - they're not going to go deeper into the drawer.
Travis: ([questioning voice] Well, hold on.)
Justin: (Unless they're using-) unless they're using a handkerchief to hide their fingerprints. In which case they wouldn't even notice the primary jelly.
Travis: (ooooooo the PERFECT crime.)
Griffin: (Oh I see [chuckles]. Always,) always have backup jelly. Uhm - let me hit you with this idea though, without jelly. Cause, jelly's good, it'll stain your whites. And that's I guess, has sort of a long lasting prank effect. And uh, I'm into that. I think - a more effective deterrent solution would be honey. You get honey on your hands, that's your whole DAY. I used to watch Winnie the Pooh, and I would have anxiety attacks! Oh! That's his whole DAY! He's got honey on his face, and his hands, and he's covered in fur! And that's gonna complicate things even further. I don't have fur, and it takes me a good 2-3 hours of scrubbing to get any honey off my body.
Travis: But even if it's only a smackerel?
Griffin: A smackerel doesn't matter the amount. I'm saying the effort is going to be (the same.)
Travis: (I'm sorry) it doesn't matter the amount, Griffin? I think (it does.)
Justin: (There is) one huge flaw with your plan, Griff. Ok - the difference - and I hate to get into the aesthetics (of this because it should be self evident.)
Griffin: (No, get into it! That's why people listen to this show!)
Justin: If you dip your hand into a jar of honey – you – human instinct [Travis agrees] will kick in and say, "Well just lick it off, you're fine". If you put your hand in a jar of jelly, [Travis agrees] you can't - it's too - you just can't. You can't lick the jelly off. Like, honey you can lick off. You can't lick the jelly off, you feel like an animal - there's no way, there's no way. That's not a deterrent, cause they'll the honey off "mmm thanks for the smackerel" and then they'll dig right back into (your drawerrrs…)
Travis: (But then they) will get stuck into the hole trying to climb out of your room [Griffin agrees] and then Piglet will push on him, Eeyore will have to push on him. (So they're gonna get stuck.)
Griffin: (You - Justin, you're saying.) You're saying honey as in being, uh, almost a TREAT! A "prank reward", if you will. I'm - we can channel human nature to further the prank! What's that, you go off to lick the honey off your hands, but it's PRANK. Stink honey. [Justin laughs] It's stink honey! It's J.B. Custer's Stink Honey. [Justin laughs] And you go to lick it off and mmm you get one taste of that in your mouth… "Oh NO. This isn't honey at all!"
Travis: [In low voice] "Hi, I'm J. B. Custer. Oh, settle down Butch! That's my dog, Butch. Listen - when you're looking for the best in Prankables, [Griffin laughs] reach for a jar of J.B. Custer's Stink Honey. (It's delicious!”)
Griffin: (“It tastes great!”)
Justin: [in voice] “It tastes great! And stinks to hiiiigh heaven!” [Travis laughs]
Griffin: How does it taste - smell is such a big FACTOR in taste. How does it smell SO bad and taste s'damn good?
Justin: [in voice] “The trick about my stink - the Stink Honey trick is, if you wait like a half hour, it smells good. So it's like - uh - it's like invisible ink, disappearing stink. It's like - you, you - it smells bad, and then if you wait long enough, you just have patience - aerate it out a little bit, then it starts to smell good again.”
Travis: “But if you wait too long, it does harden into an unbreakable crust.”
Justin: [sighs] The other problem with your plan, Griffin, is that honey is poison to babies. So if there is a baby going through your drawer, you just killed a baby, so congratulations.
Griffin: (But they would smell--)
Travis: (Wait, but the person) knows that the room - Unless… Do you have-- [Justin and Griffin repeat "Unless…"] Do you have a baby roommate?
Griffin: (Uh!)
Justin: (Do you) have a roommate who's using a baby as a front line of defense?
Griffin: ([high pitched, laughing] For pranks?!)
Travis: (Oooooooh! A baby agent.) [Griffin laughs]
Justin: A disarming baby. A baby in the coalmine, if you will. You're - they're sending the baby in first to check for trap jars.
Griffin: "How is living with Ashton Kutcher?" “It's pretty good? Uhh, the rent isn't as expensive as you would think it would be. But I did have to have hire a safety baby, to just like enter in rooms before I do, and to like open any drawer that I need to like access for any reason, because - y-you never know. There might be like, uh, I don't know like a naked man, and it's uncomfortable. It's like an uncomfortable situation, or you open up the toilet and there's like a human head in there.”
Justin: Or he'll leave his door slightly ajar so you think it's ok to go in, and then you'll find him in flagrante with a Hollywood starlet.
Travis: How is that a prank?!
Justin: What?
Griffin: He looks up - he looks up from act of lovemaking and says [Justin and Travis laugh] "Gottchaaa". [Laughing] Cause that's what they, that's what they said on Punk'd.
Justin: So wait, just to be clear - Ashton Kutcher looks up after his prank, and what he says is "gotttcha". [Griffin agrees] That's what he says.
Griffin: That's what the name of the show "Gotcha Punks!"
Travis: (mmhm!)
Griffin: (Hey) let's do another question.

Question #4 (26:08) Edit

My wife always chides me in the way that I carry groceries from the trunk of the car to the kitchen counter. I take as many bags as I can carry, so I can make the fewest number of trips. She calls it "the lazy man's load," but I completely disagree. I feel like it's the opposite: it's "the strong man's load" since my arms are weighed down to the max. Am I being truly lazy and carrying only one bag at a time, as opposed to being truly lazy and carrying only one bag at a time. What say you, brothers? -- Shootin' In Chicago

Travis: I'm 100% with the question asker.
Griffin: (Yeah!)
Justin: (Ab-so-lutely)
Travis: (Ok!)
Griffin: I don't have much - I don't have much opportunity for strength training in my life, so I need that. I mean it's good cause it gets the job done quick, but also I feel like Macho Man Randy SAVAGE (carrying all those bags.)
Justin: (Absolutely.) There has never been a time when I've come in from the car with bags weighing down my arms, when I haven't looked at my wife, and like expected like a "Woah, [Travis ooohs] look at how many you're carrying!"
Griffin: I want - I want some sort of sensor embedded above the door, so that whenever I come in carrying a big ol' arm of Macho Man Randy Savage groceries - I want the John Cena theme song to play. Like, just trumpeting me into the room. "LOOK AT HIS ARMS! LOOK AT THE DEFINITION! Look at the tone how could he carry so many bags?!"
Travis: Whenever I’m carrying the bags in from the car, I wish that there were like big stair steps in front of me, like the judges could judge how many stair steps I get up before I quit. And like the Lithuanian competitor's like [in an accent] "I can only do the three steps" like (that's what I want.)
Griffin: WHAT was THAT?
Travis: It was a Lithuanian accent, Griffin. Read a book.
Griffin: [Laughing, Yelling] You can't hear accents in BOOKS!
Travis: [Laughing] Audio books…
Griffin: Ugh… I just love every part of it. I love just - one and done - I love like, when someone gets in my way and I’m like [intense voice] "Get out of the way!!" cause I’m carrying so many bags, and like "that was rude, but oh never mind he's got- (he does have a lot of bags")
Travis: ("Oh look at all of those bags")
Justin: (I like the) inspirational moment when my arms are completely weighed down and I've got two twelve-packs of soda and there's no way I could carry a single other bag, and then I realize "I am not gonna walk all the way back out here to close the trunk. No way on earth… am I making another trip." And I just - dig deep, dig in that well - that 127 hours well - and just flex all my muscles available to me and like somehow fling the 12-pack up and let it use it's weight to carry the trunk back to it's closed position.
Griffin: (I also see people--)
Travis: (I'm also gonna) be honest. I also really like the moment when you're carrying those 12-packs - and one of them like, the handle starts to rip a little bit. [Justin agrees] And you're like, "Oh this is 24 now. Now the clock's a-tickin'! I've only got like, 30 seconds tops to get inside before all these cans go everywhere! (And now it's a race!")
Griffin: (Whenever I see -) Whenever I see somebody with those new-fangled cars where you kick the back bumper and it opens and closes the trunk, and I see them get their groceries out and just give it a little - [in higher voice] oh uh give it a little punt - to shut the door, I just look at them and I think "You. Cuckhold." [Travis laughs]
Justin: [Laughter] What?
Travis: I don't think you're using that word correctly, and (I don't think it's appropriate.)
Griffin: (I think I’m using) it EXACTLY correctly. You. Cuckhold. SHUT IT with your HANDS.
Justin: I once was uh, pulling this trick - helping my in-laws load some groceries and, my father-in-law is an ACTUAL strong person, and he was carrying a bunch of groceries so I thought, "well I wanna - I want you to be impressed by the- the- the spouse that your daughter has hitched her proverbial wagon to, so I'm gonna haul in like a ton of groceries too. And I had a 12-pack of Diet Sunkist, (that as--)
Griffin: (THE STRONG MAN'S BEVERAGE.) [Travis laughs]
Justin: [Laughs] I had a 12-pack - well it was theirs. (That they had purchased--)
Griffin: (FULL OF PROTEIN)
Justin: It's like his fave to drink, and just guzzle down. And uh, and I picked it up, and I held the top of the 12 pack, and it like, ripped… open… as I was holding it. And it was amazing cause they have like this very steep driveway. [Griffin Laughing] And the cans of Sunkist were just like "pip!pip-pip-pip-pip!" Just falling out and (exploding as they hit the ground.)
Griffin: (And Tommy yells) "MY STRENGTH POTION!" [laughing]
Justin: [Laughing] "HOW COULD YOU!"
Griffin: [Laughing] "How could you! I need- I need that strength potion to lift!"
Travis: [Laughing] And he turned to dust before your very eyes.
Griffin: [Laughing] "Ohh no! I can already feel my-- "
Justin: He gets to his knees to try lap some up…
Griffin: "My muscles are atrophying, now I’m all noodley, my strength potion! [Travis laughs] My diet, strength juice." [laughter] Let's go to the money zone so I can buy my own strength potion.

Money Zone (30:47) Edit

Justin: Before we start this Nature Zone, in which we're talking about Nature Box - Griffin was telling about the mouth sounds he edited out of our Totinos sponsored episode. Griffin - did you save those? Tell me somewhere there's an audio file on your computer - just chained together eating noises.
Griffin: No, I did do that once when the three of us all - this is - if you're eating, don't anymore, ever again after hearing this - but the three of us all had colds! All at the same time! And oh my GOD, ohh geez. I edited them all together and it sounded like one of those wind tunnels that they create for science, to like test out the - the, you know, strength and pliability of like industrial strength walls. It was a - oh man, what a bad, bad thing - I don't know why I edited that together (I used to have a strong--)
Justin: (FUCK that was an evocative) metaphor. [Griffin agrees] Nature Box offers lots of snack choices, like Mini Belgian Waffles, Strawberry Lemonade Fruit Stars and Sweet and Salty Medley. Last night, you know what I did? I was watching Sharknado 3 and getting DRUNK and I had some Mini Belgian Waffles that [Oprah voice] I dipped in (Nutellaaaa!)
Travis: (Whaaaaaat!)
Justin: (They were so- ) Yeah I know, flavor pioneer.
Travis: Oh, sorry neighbors.
Justin: Nature Box is full of flavor but it doesn't have any of the junk.
Griffin: Uh, it does if you dunk it in Nutella. It adds (junk to it.)
Justin: (Ok)
Griffin: You can add junk to it.
Travis: No inherent junk!
Justin: No inherent junk. And you can try your first [stumbles] box of nature… ([raspberry sound] You can enjoy your first box-- )
Travis: (This is our) first time talking about Nature Box, you'll have to forgive Justin. [Griffin laugh]
Justin: You can enjoy your first box of Nature Box snacks ON THEM if you go to naturebox.com/mybrother. I JUST polished off a bag of the Honey Macadamia Pretzel Pops [Travis interjects, "Nice"] WOW - what a satisfying crunch!
Griffin: I uh - I’m a big fan of these Blueberry Figgy bars.. dayum. They're like Fig Newtons but they- if Fig Newtons got diesel.
Travis: See, I prefer like the saltier, more savory snacks. I like the Guacamole Crunch Bites and uh, Asiago and Cheddar Cheese Crisps - those are my favorite. Those are my, THOSE are my jam.
Justin: I like Parmesan Garlic Pop-Pops [Travis interjects, "Nice"]
Griffin: So you've just eaten a bunch of Parmesan Garlic Pop-Pops and Asiago Cheese Crisps, and now your beard? Is full. Of cheesy dustin's!
Justin: Oh no, not cheesy dustin's, what am I gonna do (about this?)
Griffin: (What am I) gonna do, hire a bunch of birds to peck the dustin's out of my beard? No. Not in this o-conomy. I said "o-conomy" there, on (PURPOSE)
Travis: (Thanks, Obama)
Griffin: Because of- because Obama. Anyway - I think this beard's got to go, and I know the best way to get it off my face. And that is Harrys.com. And as luck would have it! My Brother My Brother and Me is this week supported in PART by harrys.com! So the stars really aligned on this one, huh guys?
Justin: These uh, these ads whenever they say "supported in part by harrys.com" I always find that very confusing because the, if the inverse were true, like that would be a really dependent lifestyle to lead if like, "my entire support system is an online retailer of shaving products - like, I go to them for ev-er-y-thing." We are supported IN WHOLE (by harrys.com - emotionally, financially--)
Travis: (they're your Mr. Feeney)
Justin: Yeah! They're our everything.
Griffin: Uh - Harry's razors offer a high quality shave that's better for your face AND for your wallet. The starter set is $15 - it includes a razor, foaming shave gel or shave cream and 3 razor blades plus free shipping. That's. BONKERS. (That's-- )
Travis: (Give me 33.3% repeating off!)
Griffin: OK? I don't know why you're so angry? (All of the time?)
Travis: (I need to haggle!) It's the only way I can feel.
Griffin: Oh, Ok, well no need to haggle, just go to harrys.com and you can get $5 off that starter set with the code MYBROTHER (all one word). So $10 you get a razor, foaming shave gel or shave cream and 3 razor blades. And they're really really good blades! And it's - it's an awesome shaving solution and $10 is like, cheaper than like just regular blades that you would buy at the, you know, the Costco or whatever.
Travis: And they're great for everybody, everybody can use them, even babies.
Griffin: Even babies. Shit, baby! You've really let your face go. Time to shave up.
Travis: You're all scruffy, baby.
Justin: I've got a message for Isaac Beachy from Andre who says:

Issac, Can't decide what I’m more disappointed by: The fact that you'd be willing to blow $100 to have some clever assholes (that was meant endearingly) read your incomprehensible message on the fake radio, or the fact that I’m dumb enough to respond in kind. Love, Andre PS Thanks for introducing me to MBMBam! They're funny, and stuff!

Travis: Just so people listening at home - you can call us whatever you want to if you pay us $100. Like I - You can call us ANY NAME in the book! Just don't call me late for dinner. [Sarcastic Laugh]
Griffin: Good LOOORD. [Laughing] How about this message for Brady and it's from Mike. And Mike says:

Two things: Number 1 - friendly reminder that you promised Kristin & team some rap lyrics. Your required rhymes were "home free, sweet pea, whoopee, and morning tea". Maybe the McElroy brothers can help you out here. Try to get this in before your birthday. Number 2 - Happy Birthday! [laughs]

Travis: Ohhhh, you just missed it.
Justin: Aww.
Griffin: (I think -)
Justin: (That's sweet)
Griffin: I think I did rap those. [Travis agrees] It sounded to me [Justin interjects, "I mean, basically"] like I rapped them. There wasn't the - you know how sometimes in rap, between the rhyming words they just like throw some other words in there to form complete sentences and coherent (thoughts and stuff?) [Justin agrees] That's not MY style, I do slam rap.
Travis: Mmhmm
Justin: Maybe you combine em. Like, just like - "home free, sweet pea! Whoopee, morning tea!"
Griffin: (That's pretty good)
Justin: (Is that good?) Is that rap?
Travis: Oh you forgot to say "My name is Justin, and I’m here to say.." [Griffin laughs]
Justin: [Laughing] Ok, Ok.

"My name is Justin and I’m here to say that I love fruity pebbles in a home free way! There is a flavor called sweet pea Whoopee, Morning tea, but to get the fruity taste, I gotta trick Fred."

Travis: ([Griffin laughs and claps] Nice.)
Justin: Is that good? Is that rap?
Travis: NAILED it!
Griffin: Do you guys want a Yahoo?
Justin: Yep
Griffin: Ooh i'm gonna stretch first.
Justin: Get a good stretch in
Griffin: Zoe Kinsky sent this one in, thank you Zoe, (it's from YaDrew user--)
Travis: (Climbing that ladder!)
Griffin: Climbing. That. Ladder. Sent in by YaDrew answers user, James who asks:

Question #5 (38:00) Y Edit

Ghostbusters question: what happens if one of ghost busters dies and becomes a ghost?

Justin: Ho-ly shit.
Griffin: “Here's a question I always had what happens if one of the ghost busters dies and becomes a ghost, do the other ghost busters suck him up like they do with other ghosts?”
Travis: (Ok I--)
Justin: (I would say) if they have made an arrangement with a ghost that's literally named Slimer. [Travis agrees] That's defined by it's sliming. That he can just like, chill, at their house? [Travis agrees, Griffin laughs] which is like, by the way, by the way, Ok - if I can just (say here--)
Griffin: (yeahyeahyeah)
Justin: By the way - by the way - by the way. If I'm going in to procure the Ghostbusters services, which I'm assuming I’m doing at a premium [Griffin agrees] once they become the toast of New York. [Travis agrees] if I’m going in to procure their services and like I’m talking to Janine and I’m setting up a time for my consultation and estimate - which I’m assuming they'll do for free - and I’m like setting that up and out of the- the corner of my eye I spy SLIMER? Like just jamming hotdogs (down his throat!?)
Griffin: (Worst ghost!)
Travis: (Let's fucking) equate that. If you were an exterminator and people came in to hire you and there were just like rats hanging out on the floor? That' s not a good look!
Justin: Yeah. Not just rats hanging on the floor! Like a giant rat emitting green goo and (eating hot dogs!)
Griffin: (The worst rat!)
Travis: (And you were just) like "Oh that's our rat! That's Ratty the Rat, he's our buddy." [groans]
Justin: Like the grossest rat!
Travis: Was Slimer a pet, or like, was he sharing the office space? Like, what… [sighs] I never quite understood cause he had to be the embodiment of a human being who had died. Like that's how ghosts work. But he didn't seem to like, speak English, or have any human characteristics except that he was just kind of hungry all the time. And terrible! And yet he was the ghost that was allowed free reign of the place.
Griffin: (Yeah)
Justin: (Sure! Just Ghost around)
Travis: (Not like) Einstein, or like, Gandhi… but Slimer!
Griffin: Two- Two things. Number 1: Slimer was like, on the cover of the Ecto-Cooler box, right?
Justin: Right
Griffin: And he was like - and the juice was green.
Justin: Yep.
Griffin: Are we to like… I’m thinking about that now, and I wish I'd never let that beverage cross between my lips and (slip down my throat.)
Justin: ([Laughing] What could that have been?)
Griffin: (What could that have possibly been.)
Travis: (I always assumed it was Slimer blood.)
Griffin: Is it Slimer MILK?! [Travis laughs] Did someone grasp his teets firmly? (But also softly?)
Travis: (Was there a) Ghostbusters themed jelly that was green?
Griffin: Probably at (some point. Probably.)
Travis: (I feel like it) was Ecto-Jelly.
Justin: They had Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fruit Pies that were green in the - oh they were pudding pies [Griffin makes disgusted sound] with green in the middle. I guess just (ground up turtles in there?)
Travis: (Yeah, mushed up) turtles
Griffin: I had two points. And I did my first one. And I forget. What the second one. Was. [Singing] "Don't it always seem to go?" [Justin laughs] (Um--)
Justin: (Uh do you? Ok) Slimer we can all - ok - let me ask this as a set up: Slimer was nasty right? (We can all agree he was nasty.)
Travis: (Yeah. Yeah yeah.)
Griffin: (He's the worst ghost!) Give - give me like a headless ballroom dancer or something. (Anything. Anything.)
Justin: (Anything! Anything.) OK - So Slimer's nasty and he would eat anything, right? Do you think there was ever a moment [begins laughing] when one of the Ghostbusters was using the bathroom and they just saw Slimer's face like peak in expectantly… Like just wait, cause - cause here's what I’m - was there ever a moment when they were using the bathroom, and they had to deal with Slimer watching them waiting to go eat their bathroom. [laughs] [Griffin laughs, disgusted] This is what I’m wondering aloud.
Griffin: That - why would you wonder that internally? Why would you wonder that in any - that's a--
Justin: Now everybody has to wonder it.
Griffin: Ok good. I think maybe this is - I remember my second thing.
Justin: If DOGS (do it?)
Griffin: (Oh boy)
Justin: There's no reality in which (Slimer does not.)
Travis: [singing] (Dogs do it,) Bees do it, even nasty little ghosts do it! Everybody's eatin' bathrooms. [Griffin laughs]
Justin: You meet a nice girl or guy, when you get one of your rare off nights from ghost-busting. [G&T agree] and you go uh-uh-uh and up to the room, things are going well. And what is that? Mid-coitus - bursting through the - like flying through the wall? It's Slimer and he's there to watch you FUCK! [G & T Laugh]
Griffin: Uhm, I remembered my second point.
Justin: Thank God.
Griffin: Maybe it's like Michonne on The Walking Dead, how she carried two - two zombies around with her? So no zombies would mess with her. Like, ghosts would come by. More - listen, Slimer's the worst aesthetically, and um, just sort of sort of having him around put you at sense of unease and also there's all the slime that you have to deal with - that's like a full time job, taking care of Slimer - but he's not going to kill you. He's not gonna, he's not gonna, (you know, uh--)
Travis: (He's not the) Scolari Brothers
Griffin: He's not gonna inhabit a wolf and attack you, right? [Justin agrees] He's just Slimer. He's just gonna slime around. So - so a more malicious spirit, a lesion comes by and is like, "What's up, time to get SPOOOOKY! Oh, Slimer, you're already here? Sorry dog, this one's yours. Later." Takes off.
Travis: Oh, so he's the Devil you know.
Griffin: Yes… Is he the Devil? [Justin laughs]
Travis: [laughing] Hold on, I'm not saying that Slimer is the devil, but he's definitely of the devil. It's never addressed in - I don't think in any of the Ghostbusters extended universe that there are ghosts that are not malicious…
Justin: Except for Slimer, who's like the one chill ghost.
Travis: But no, I would say that Slimer is at least 1% malicious, cause like he eats your food [Justin agrees] and gets his detritus leavings all over everything, so he's not exactly like - benevolent. But they don't ever seem to bust a ghost and have someone say, [laughing] "You busted my Grandfather! I didn't want that, you turds!"

There's one, in the movies, just a jogger? He's just, just trying to lose a couple ghost LBs and they bust him!

Griffin: Yeah.
Justin: They do - they (do bust him)
Griffin: (And it's hard -) it's hard, he's working hard out there! Because when you're a ghost, your metabolism doesn't exist! Because you don't have a physical body.
Travis: Yeah! And in the song… I always got so upset, "There's an invisible man, sleeping in your bed. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters?!" Why? It's an invisible man, not a ghost. 2) He’s just. Napping. He's a sleepy man. He's not bothering you, he's not messing with your shit… he's taking a FUCKING nap, and you're gonna bust him?
Justin: [laughing] mid-NAP?
Travis: mid NAP? You JERK! My dog jumps on me sometimes when (I’m sleeping. and less upsetting--)
Griffin: (BUST HIM. BUST THAT DOG)
Travis: [laughing] Bust my dog, Ghostbusters!
Griffin: [singing in Ghostbusters theme] Murdering dogs makes you feel goooood!
Justin: [laughs] I wish we could see that moment when the Ghostbusters are just circling your bed with their proton packs all loaded, ready to blast and then one of them - Egon looks at Venkman and is like, "Does this feel wrong to you? (Like this feels --")
Travis: ([Laughing] "I'm having a crisis of conscious")
Justin: "Like I’m just gonna bust him? (Like why? He's just sleeping")
Travis: ("He's not, he's just-) should we wake him up and see if he's a jerk or something?"
Justin: "Yeah, should we try talking to him? (I think he's fine)"
Travis: "(Maybe just explain) that it's not his bed" and he's like, "Oh sorry, I don't have eyeballs - I’m invisible."
Justin: [laughing] Yeah, hey, by the way - we uh, we have back at our house, a living fart that emits goo everywhere. [Griffin laughs] Do you think maybe the invisible man could stay with us? Like, it probably wouldn't be that big of an inconvenience.
Travis: Yeah!
Griffin: Oh so you're suggesting there can only be one ghost at a time at Ghostbusters HQ. So fucking Venkman dies, and Slimer's like, "well, shit… (Writing's on the wall")
Justin: ("Dammit") Yeah! Like if you want to keep one ghost mascot, like wouldn't you upgrade to the invisible man, who you don't have to see or think about - you just know he's there.
Travis: At most, he's napping in your bed.
Justin: At WORST! Yeah, for sure!
Travis: And not shitting his green slime all over your lunch?
Griffin: I hope that there's some sort of joke in the new Ghostbusters movie where Slimer smokes weed or something.
Travis: [laughter] Wait why would that be a thing?
Justin: It would be (funny, though)
Griffin: (That would be funnnny, man - think about it)
Travis: (That'd be pretty funny.) It would be (great.)
Griffin: (Get that on a-) I would get that on a t-shirt.
Justin: Man I LOVE (Slimer.)
Griffin: (I love Slimer) too. I take back every mean thing I said about him.
Justin: [laughs] I can't. Stop thinking about Slimer! It doesn't make sense! Do you think they tried to bust him? And he was just (too fast?)
Travis: (They DID, Justin!) In the first movie, they bust him. He's their first victim, right? And then they take him back, and then he's just there? And then he's like (driving a bus? What the fuck?)
Justin: (He just stays there? It's insane!) You professionally bust ghosts!
Travis: And he escaped! He’s the stupidest ghost! He's the - he's like - the least [loud whisper] he's the least of them.
Griffin: He's the most trappable. Most trappable. (Most shootable ghost)
Travis: ([yelling whisper] He's the most trappable!)
Justin: [laughing] They - I - Is it just that he's like?
Travis: And then he's driving a BUS? And then Rick Moranis is just like "OK, cool"… WHAT THE FUCK? [angry sigh]
Justin: Like - after your entire city is in the thrall of Vigo and moon slime, do you really open any window to the Paranormal? Like - wouldn't you just instinctively like - listen, we've had a lot of fun with this ghost, Slimer -[Griffin Laughs] but I think we really need to get serious (about busting' him.)
Griffin: ([Laughing] But there's not even) a scene where they're like playing checkers with Slimer or going on a beach vacation with Slimer and he's like catching a frisbee in his mouth - he's just there and he's a (shitty roommate!)
Justin: (Right)
Travis: Although I do - I do now want to see a scene where everyone's like having fun with Slimer right, and then they all leave the room and he just turns and looks in the mirror and his eyes like blaze red as blood like drips from his mouth and he just laughs -
Griffin: (And he smokes - smokes a fatty.)
Travis: ([Laughing] and then he smokes that dank herb.)
Justin: [Laughing] Smokes a huge pile of weed. Maybe Slimer is the only one of the Ghostbusters team that knows where to get weed.
Travis: [laughing] "We should bust-- (well, hold on…")
Griffin: ("Well…")

Housekeeping (55:12) Edit

Justin: [Struggled voice] so this has been our uh, our Ghostbuster's Fan Cast of My Brother (My Brother and Me.)
Griffin: (Holy Shit)
Justin: Uhm, and I hope you had a good time. Thanks again to our sponsors: (Nature Box)
Griffin: (USA - USA Network) [Travis laughs]
Justin: Thanks to Nature Box where you can order hundreds of great tasting healthy snacks. Go to naturebox.com/mybrother to sign up for a free sampler box [sniffles] of great tasting healthy snacks.
Griffin: You alright?
Justin: Yeah someone else say something.
Griffin: (Uhhh--)
Justin: (Oh we're really) excited we have a HUGE announcement. We're going to be performing at LA Podfest this year - (September--)
Griffin: (Did you guys) look at the rest of the lineup for (LA Podfest? I know I’m late to the game here. Holy Shit.)
Travis: (Yeah I know it's sick.)
Justin: (What are we doing there?)
Travis: It's sick. Uhm, and now here's another exciting thing: Not only are we doing a live My Brother My Brother and Me, we will be doing the first ever and possibly ONLY live (Adventure Zone.)
Griffin: (Oh my god.)
Travis: If you go to LA Podfest and here's the most exciting part y'all… I know a lot of people are like "LA? We - I can't get to LA. I don't live anywhere near LA!" Good news. You can watch it LIVE - there are going to be live streaming the whole weekend, and you can do it for just $20! If you go to lapodfest.com and use the coupon code either: BROTHER or ZONE on checkout, you get $5 off, and you can watch like ALL of the shows (live streaming. And it benefits)
Griffin: (Let me--)
Justin: (You can find) links and stuff to that if you wanna just direct route that easy to remember if you go to mbmbam.tumblr.com the top post there is all - all about this explaining - has the codes and what all.
Griffin: So we're doing a show, we're doing Adventure Zone, we're doing MBMBaM… But with that streaming ticket you can watch all of the shows so; Girl on Guy, the Ayesha Tyler podcast; Never not Funny; uh--
Travis: Thrilling Adventure Hour
Griffin: Thrilling Adventure Hour, WTF with Mark Maron… like there’s' so-- The Giant Bombcast is doing a show there, which I’m very excited to catch. (There's so much stuff)
Travis: (Yeah,) Stuff You Should Know? Just make sure to use the coupon code either: BROTHER or ZONE so they know that they sent you an [high voice] ehh gives us a couple bucks in our pocket
Griffin: Yeah that helps too. Uhm we got other live shows too, coming up in Portland, Seattle and Vancouver. Sea- sorry Portland is sold out, unfortunately. They… The shows are the last weekend in August. If you want tickets there's still some available. Go to bit.ly/mbmbamseattle and bit.ly/vanmbmbam
Travis: I also want to say thank you, we've got some really awesome stuff in the PO Box. Uh, at least in the West Coast one. Uh, Ricardo sent us some awesome coasters a while ago, I use mine every time I record. Uh, I want to say thanks to Noel who sent me a board game that I cannot wait to try out, he says it's one of his favorites and I'm on a huge board game kick right now so I’m really excited to try it. I want to say thanks to Jill who wrote me a really long, really lovely, incredibly nice letter and I really appreciate it. And Ryan sent an awesome t-shirt from his martial arts studio, and I’m wearing it right now.
Griffin: Is it helping you kick? Is it helping you kick better?
Travis: It is helping me kick. It is helping be head butt. It is helping be chop.
Justin: We got a postcard in the East Coast PO Box. PO Box 54, Huntington West Virginia, 25706 - got some cheese coupons from Dana and Sean, [Travis: ooh!] got a postcard from Serbia from Adam and Shelly Franklin, uh - got a, let's see, got another postcard here from Boston and Sailor Steve sent us one, a beautiful Save the Date from John and Julie Doherty on their upcoming Nuptials. Same to Christie and Eric who got married back in May. So thanks for that, congratulations on your graduation to Sarah Paupas who graduated and sent us an announcement of that. Uh, similar congratulations to Robert William Ashley who's bachelor science degree. Anna and Davis got married and invited us, thank you all so much for that. And uh, you are all the best. So thank you.
Travis: If you have something for us you can send it to PO Box 341769 Los Angeles California 90034, or what was the east coast one again, Juice?
Justin: I already gave it, I don't want to give it again.
Travis: Ok fair enough.
Griffin: Fair enough!
Travis: Also, if you would like to have a message in The Money Zone, you can go to maximumfun.org/jumbotron but fair warning, at this point we're backed up a couple months, so it's better if you just accept that it may be a while before we get to it. But we will get to all of them, we will do all of them, we promise.
Griffin: We're going a little bit long here, but I just want to leave a note here that you should go check out all of the other shows on the Mximimum Fun network. There's some new Max Fun Shows: there's a show called "We Got This" with Hal Loveland and Mark Gaggliarty, and Travis you are involved in a new podcast project - can you tell me about it?
Travis: Yeah - I'm producer and you will occasionally hear my voice on the show as well, it's called "Can I Pet Your Dog" with Renee Colvert and Allegra Ringo and it's for people who love dogs, love talking about dogs, or just like - love the idea of people who love dogs, and every week we talk about dogs that we met that week, we talk about dog news, sometimes we have guests on. On our first episode we had Lin Manuel Miranda on, to talk about his dog, and how they found their dog on a beach in the Dominican Republic - which is insane. And ALSO you can follow us on twitter: cipydpodcast or just search "Can I Pet Your Dog" on Facebook and join the Facebook group. Because people are constantly sending us and posting pictures of their dogs. [Griffin: awwwwww] And it's becoming like my favorite thing. Yeah, it's like the best. So check it out!
Griffin: I'mma burn through the rest of this shit. Justin has a YouTube series called Things I Bought at Sheetz. I wore the shirt for Things I Bought at Sheetz yesterday and it was very comfortable and the show is very good. Travis -
Justin: Send me a picture of you wearing that shirt
Griffin: You still don't believe that I bought it huh?
Justin: No I just want to put you in the show.
Griffin: Oh I see. Uh - Travis has a podcast called Trends Like These that he does with his friend Brent. And you can find that on iTunes and wherever podcasts are. I don't have any other things going on right now, I've got a lot on my plate that's frankly none of your business
Travis: Watch the Monster Factory videos that Griffin and Justin do on YouTube. (You can also--)
Griffin: (Oh Shit!) Justin we gotta do one of those tomorrow dude, it's been a long time.
Justin: (Ok)
Travis: (You can also) check out My Brother My Brother and Me videos on YouTube, just search MBMBaM, we have a whole channel: animated stuff, shareable shorts. Go on iTunes, rate, review, subscribe to My Brother My Brother and Me, and all the other podcasts you listen to. And also, thanks to Jon Roderick and The Long Winters for the use of their theme song "(It's A) Departure" off the album "Putting the Days to Bed".
Griffin: That - His election of Seattle City Council is coming up. So if you live in the 8th district, look him up. Think about it. Think about your options.

Final Yahoo - sent in by Ira Wray.

Justin: [Singing] Are you Ira Wray?
Griffin: Who wants to know? Thank you Ira Wray. It's by Yahoo Answers user… DumbBlonde… Whoops… who asks:

Question #6 (61:52) FY Edit

Is "cowabunga" a cuss word?

Justin: I'm Slimer
Travis: I'm Rick Moranis
Griffin: I am the pile of slime, upon which Ashton Kutcher is dedicating his love.
Justin: This has been My Brother My Brother and Me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips.

References & Links Edit

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