"Candlenights 2011 Special" was originally released on December 26, 2011.


It's our second annual Candlenights special, and you know that means! Actually, you might not, since it's only the second time we've done it. Oh, well, it means that we go the whole episode without dropping any profane language, so you can share it with your innocent, nubile ears. Also, you shouldn't say "nubile ears" in front of them, because that's kind of profane.

Suggested Talking PointsEdit

Raspberry Pillow, The Long Con, Santa Baby, Trampires, 1 PE, Christmas Conspiracy, Forever Lazy, Mistlesmooch, Measure Your Year in Gifts, The Briefness, Unwanted Twilight, Cat Buglary


02:15 - Hey guys, my girlfriend and I were debating about giving children gifts early. I believing giving kids gifts doesn't do any detrimental harm to them and is perfectly fine as long as it is approximately by the holiday they were going to get the presents for anyway. She thinks it would make the kids impatient and possibly demean the holiday. We would appreciate your help in deciding who is right. -- Feuding Face-Off In Florida

06:19 - Y - Sent in by Krista Whalen, from Yahoo Answers user angie, who asks:

What's the best Christmas song to strip to?

I'm doing a strip tease as part of my boyfriends christmas present, I have the Naughty santa costume I just don't know which song to use. Any suggestions?

13:06 - Y - Sent in by Krista Whalen, from Yahoo Answers user Supafreak, who asks:

I think I know who tried to kill me?

Ok, sorry for the fake title, just wanted to make it more interesting and something to get your attention. Don't report it! Anyways, have a Merry Christmas everybody, and yeah that's all that I wanted to say.

14:29 - Y - Sent in by Horse Lover Phat, from Yahoo Answers user Touch My Pigtails And Die, who asks:

If you were a legitimate vampire, who would you surprise with the gift of eternal life this Christmas?

For me, it would be Bob from accounting. He has nice hair and it deserves to look that way "forever".

19:03 - My mom tells me the story of how once as a child I noticed that the presents were wrapped in the same wrapping paper as the previous year, and shortly thereafter the whole "parent's bring the presents" deal had to be revealed. At what age and how did you all discover this parental Christmas conspiracy? -- Brian In Columbia

27:43 - Y - Sent in by Krista Whalen, from Yahoo Answers user Mycroft, who asks:

What are some awkward places to hang mistletoe?

Funny, awkward, uncomfortable or bizarre places to hang mistletoe?


Griffin: Cassandra says "put it in the guys locker room" I don't think that's gonna play out how you think that's gonna play out. C'mere Brick! C'mere Brock! [Griffin makes kissy noises]
Travis: Did you just name them Brick and Brock? Hello Brock, hello Brick. I guess we should've seen this coming.
Justin: Christmas law abides us Brick! why are we so adherent to it!
Griffin: Hey good hockey come here.
Justin: Nice hockey sweater, lemme take it off of you.
Travis: Hey guys what's going on?
Griffin: Get out of here Brack! Brick and Brock are KISSING!
Justin: Bruce [pronounced with a hard C], you can stay.
Travis: For the last time you guys it's pronounced Bruce! [Pronounced properly]

32:26 - I'm a 24-year-old dude, and I really just enjoy giving presents to my friends. I don't give expensive or ostentatious gifts - I generally just enjoy being able to find and give a thoughtful gift. My problem is, I always wind up feeling slighted or annoyed if my friends can't even be bothered to return the favour. Am I giving gifts for the wrong reason, or should I expect a bit of courtesy from my close friends? -- Jarsch

39:23 - Y - Sent in by Krista Whalen, from Yahoo Answers user Monty, who asks:

How to react to a bad Christmas present?

My mum asked me if i was going to see Twilight and i told her no way i hate twilight. So the other day i ran out of socks and i opened my mum and dads closet to borrow some of my dads socks and i found the twilight book. The other day i look at the tree and theres a present for me shaped exactly like the book.

How shoud i react to the present?

43:29 - My boyfriend and I will not be around family this year for Christmas. What's a good way to make a memorable X-mas for two? -- Stumped Santa In San Diego

46:23 - What do you guys do for New Years Eve? My friends and I agreed that it might actually be the worst holiday. It's even worse if you're single, because when the countdown does happen all the couples kiss, and then you have to stand there alone, a lonely doofus. How do you do New Years Eve, and insights for the singles? -- Ed In San Francisco

52:48 - Housekeeping

55:13 - FY - Sent in by JC Fletcher, from Yahoo Answers user Ryan, who asks:

What is the exact angle for getting gold properly with a sluice box?

Quotes Edit

Skrillex is my astrological sign.
— Griffin

On Where To Hang Mistletoe Edit

Belt buckle."
— Justin & Travis

Trivia Edit

Deep Cuts Edit

References & Links Edit

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